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“And they should have been fixed before the went to the client,” he responded.
“Clarke.” He turned to me and my heart starting racing. I was sure it was visible through my suit jacket. “He wants you off the deal. You made the error and I have to agree with him, but it’s not fair to Markman to make him do this alone. So you’re staying on the deal but you report to him. Not a single email to the client, and not a single call. It’s like you don’t exist. Got it?” Shame and embarrassment burned in my gut.Report to Andrew? It was my worst nightmare come true.I inclined my head because I didn’t trust my voice. Gerald gave a single nod and turned to Andrew, cutting off any further conversation.
“Andrew. Thanks for catching the error and handling it with the client.”What the fuck? Catching the error?
“Stay back and we can try and fix this.” He gave a weary sigh and clapped Andrew on the shoulder. I was a problem and Andrew was the solution. The boys’ club closed ranks and I stared at their backs. My eyes burned and my throat started to close.
Andrew turned and his eyes met mine. The coldness in them caused me to stumble backwards. Suddenly, it all made sense. His call from earlier, this meeting. He was fucking me over. This was payback for our fight. He was going to make partner over me, and worse, it would be using information I had dug up. I had flagged the purchase price issue, had done the excel sheet to make sure we wouldn’t be getting screwed over by opposing counsel. He hadn’t even raised it. But he was getting all the credit. Because yet again, he knew how to play the game better than I did. He always would and I would never be enough.
I gave him a jerky nod, hoping the devastation wasn’t apparent in my eyes, and walked woodenly back to the office. There was no way in hell I was going to sit here with him while he plotted against me. I marched to his desk, grabbed the coaster I had given him, and scrawled across it in angry capital letters: “STAY AWAY FROM ME.” I tossed it on his desk, where I knew he would see it, and walked out the door.
39
Andrew
At Margo’s stricken expression, my heart lurched. She blamed me. Of course she did. It looked so bad. And fucking Gerald had his facts wrong. I tried to communicate silently with her, panicked, hoping she would give me a chance to explain.Please, wait for me. Hear me out. Don’t freak out.Her gaze shuttered and she shoved out of Gerald’s office.
He blathered on about how important this client was to us and I stood there, woodenly, unable to get the image of her devastated face out of my head.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I said, interrupting Gerald’s stream of consciousness.
“Excuse me?” He was annoyed but I didn’t care.
“It wasn’t her fault,” I repeated slowly, insultingly. “She didn’t make the error. She caught the error that the other side made. She modeled the purchase price changes in Excel to see if they were trying to screw us over.” The words made me feel sick all over again. “Spencer has it out for her.”
Gerald looked stunned. “Well, I guess…just finish the deal.”
I gave a short nod and stalked out, not caring that he could fire me.
I wanted to sprint back our office, but I forced myself to walk. I needed to talk to her, to convince her not to hate me for this. She would understand. We were past all that.
But when I got to the office, she was gone and on my desk was the coaster she had given me, with four angry words scrawled across it: STAY AWAY FROM ME. I stumbled, grabbing the piece of wood. I rubbed at it, desperate to remove the words, as if that could undo the last thirty minutes. They wouldn’t come off. I should have known. The past couldn’t be changed and could never truly be forgotten.
* * *
I shiftedfrom foot to foot outside her apartment, unsure whether to knock or to leave. Maybe she wouldn’t even answer. I knocked once and waited, tapping my finger on my leg.
She opened the door warily, as if knowing I would be there. Her expression was stony but the messiness of her hair and the redness of her eyes told me she had been crying, perhaps for a while.Because of you. I swallowed.
She leaned against the doorjamb, blocking my way. “What do you want? Did you not get my message?”
I blinked and a short laugh tore from my throat. “Yeah, loud and clear.” I ran a hand through my hair for what felt like the hundredth time today.
“Then why are you here?” She cut in. Her voice was clipped and her eyes were shadowed. My stomach twisted. “Do you need me to use smaller words?” She frowned. “Or maybe you were too busy kissing Gerald’s ass. Here, let me spell it out for you. Stay. Away. From. Me.” She bit the words out and I closed my eyes at the pain that lanced through me. Pain that was quickly washed away by anger.
“Really, Margo?” My voice was harsh, incredulity making me short with her. “You think so little of me? You think I would rip your chance at partnership away from you?”
“Didn’t you?”
Cold rage filled me, at her, at myself. “Let me in. We aren’t doing this in the hallway.” She took in my expression and her eyes widened, but she stepped back and let me in. The walls of her apartment felt like they were too small, too close. I took a deep breath.
“So let me get this straight.” I bit the words out. “After all the time we spent together, after everything I confessed to you, you think I would take away your dreams? That’s who you think I am?” I had to know. Had to have it crystal clear. If this woman was going to break my heart, I was going to make her say the words.
“Everything you confessed?” Her voice rose. “You confessednothing. Oh, do you mean that youused to bein love with me? Just what every girl dreams of hearing.” My heart stuttered. I hadn’t been willing to jump first, and now I was paying the price. “Don’t worry, I’ve been informed it won’t be a problem anymore.” Her lips twisted in a self-mocking imitation of a smile. “You asked me to choose you, Andrew, but you won’t choose me either.” She was almost yelling at this point, but I stood, stoic, frozen. “This is just you not picking me,again.” She deflated and crossed her arms over her midsection protectively. “I should have known. You’ve been cold and ruthless since day one. You showed me time and time again that the firm means more to you than I do, and I guess now, I finally believe you.”
We were right back to where we started. Why had I thought that the month together would cleanse us? She hadn’t learned. And I hadn’t either. Here I was, clawing for any bit of her attention, and she was rejecting me. I wasn’t doing this again. I wasn’t going to fight for crumbs of her regard only to be told I wasn’t worth it. And part of me knew that even if I did fight, it would amount to nothing. It had always amounted to nothing. With my family, with her, it was all the same.
“As you so kindly reminded me, we are friends, nothing more,” I said. Her expression shuttered and vicious triumph lit inside me at the blow. “Understood?”
