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Steffan nodded and admitted, “I struggle too. I bury myself in my work and don’t let anyone except family get close.”

“I know. But you’re saving lives.”

“Sometimes, and sometimes I can’t handle the thought of losing anyone else I love.”

Curt studied him. That was dead-on how he felt.

“But if I found the right woman for me, I would leave anything behind, move heaven and earth, get on an airplane at least, and go tell her how I feel. Come on, Curt.” Steffan’s blue eyes were pleading with him. “Give her a chance to at least love you or reject you. Give love a chance.”

“It bothers me that you keep throwing the L-word around,” he tried to tease to ease the depth and seriousness. He admired Aliya tremendously, but love …?

Steffan laughed. As teenagers, they’d thought the L-word was as bad as the F-word. Their mum hadn’t agreed.

“Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that with all that time you spent together, you don’t love her? She inspired you, made you happy. Changed your life. And I’m sure gave you the best kisses you’ve ever … What?”

Curt was afraid he was going to cry. He focused on the chair sitting in front of him, running his fingers over the smooth wood grain. “How did you know about the ‘best kisses of my life’?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He met his brother’s blue gaze again. “It was a standing joke between us.”

“I like it. You have jokes. You have incredible kisses. You quote her. She was like sunshine to you at the end of a long winter.”

“She was,” he admitted.

“So why are you still talking to me instead of getting to the airport?”

Curt focused on the chair again. He could picture Aliya. Those golden-brown eyes. Her lips against his. He missed her.

“I’m afraid,” he admitted.

Silence fell, and he finally looked up.

“I always thought you were the bravest man in the world.”

“No, you didn’t. Ray’s always been the bravest.”

“You live up here by yourself, welcoming anybody in and never thinking they might stab you in your sleep. That’s brave, my brother.”

With the two murderers he’d hosted numerous times, he might’ve been stabbed in his sleep. Would the guilt of that ever subside? Aliya had helped him with the guilt and pain of Suzanne’s death. He wished he could see her and talk through Fredrich and Leon’s brutal evil. But he’d squandered that chance.

“You scale mountains that most people would never dream of standing near the edge of. That’s brave, my brother.”

Curt couldn’t look away from Steffan’s blue eyes.

“As an EMT and firefighter, you ran into fires when most people would run the other way. You’ve faced helping another trauma victim when you’ve been a victim of trauma yourself. That’s brave, my brother.”

“Thanks,” Curt managed. He hadn’t told anyone in the family that he planned on fighting fires again.

“Be brave now. Go after her.” Steffan paused. “Or you’ll regret it the rest of your life.”

His brother didn’t wait for a response. He walked out of the shop, and a few seconds later, his motor started and then faded away.

Was Curt brave enough to go after her?

He was terrified that he wasn’t.

Steffan was right about one thing. He would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t go.

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