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“I …”
“I was in love.” T’s eyes got a faraway look in them. “I lost her and stupidly didn’t chase after her. Don’t make my same mistake.”
Jennifer Shule? It had to be.
“You don’t have to admit you love him,” T continued.
Love?
“But this too shall pass. Right? Someday, you and Ray will have caught Mum’s murderer, I won’t be getting death threats, and then you and Ray will be free. Free to love each other.”
The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Macey started to step out, not sure how to respond, but Tristan caught her arm. “Please. Ray is the best man, and he gives so much, thinks he has to work himself into the ground and do it all, be everything for everybody. He deserves a beautiful angel like you. Please give him a chance when the time is right.”
She met Tristan’s blue eyes, so like his brother’s but not his brother’s.
“I don’t know, T,” she whispered, then gestured around. “This isn’t my life. I don’t know that I’d fit here.” She was lying and hoped Tristan couldn’t see that. She’d imagined she’d never fit here, but she truly loved this light-filled castle and this family, especially Ray.
Tristan gave her a perceptive stare, and she started making up better excuses in her head. She couldn’t commit to giving Ray a chance when all that was in store for her was heartache.
“Do you want to come read scriptures and pray with Kiera before bed?”
Macey’s pulse settled. “I would love that. Thank you.”
He gave her a smile, but it was filled with regret. They walked side by side to Kiera’s room. Macey’s heart felt like it was already breaking. Seeing Kiera would help a lot. She saw no way for her and Ray to get past his declaration to never make a play for her, his determination to do the right thing.
She had to focus on finding the note writer and the murderer and keeping up the ploy with Tristan. It stunk, but as Ray had reminded her, this was her job. Macey had never planned on more for herself than working hard, being smart, and doing a good job.
Burying her dreams of loving Ray shouldn’t be so excruciating.
Chapter Twelve
Ray stormed to T’s suite, cussing himself for being such a baby about watching T and Macey kiss for the talk show as he ripped off his tie and changed out of his suit. He paced the room, staring out the dark windows. He’d never felt such ugly jealousy in his life. He thought he’d kept a stupid smile on his face throughout the show. He’d somehow survived T holding, giggling with, and even kissing Macey with his heart still beating and without hitting his brother. He could be grateful for something.
T burst into the suite after ten-thirty. What had T and Macey been doing for the last hour? That kiss played through his mind, and Ray’s fists tightened. T met his gaze and just shook his head, his blue eyes full of remorse. Ray knew his brother wanted to make things better for him, wanted him to be with Macey, but they both had to play their roles right now. T said nothing, just lifted a hand to him and walked into his closet. Ray appreciated the self-restraint. He probably shouldn’t have hit him earlier.
He kneeled and prayed a lengthy, desperate prayer. His Father above and his mum had to help him. They both wanted him to find the murderer, find who was threatening T, and heaven didn’t want Ray killing his twin brother for kissing Macey instead of keeping T safe like he’d pledged to do … all important things.
T was such a great man, and a great brother. It wasn’t his fault they were caught in this awful threesome. He would take the media’s hailstorm and pave the way for Ray to be with Macey if Ray said the word.
Sadly, Ray couldn’t let him.
He lay down and finally slept from the mental exhaustion.
The next morning, he admired the bruises Tiny had given him as he slipped into gym clothes and as he and T picked up Macey and climbed the stairs to the gym. He didn’t even stare at her. He recommitted, for the hundredth time, to keep his hands and eyes off her, concentrate on his job, and somehow get through this blasted fake engagement.
He worked himself into exhaustion, mostly keeping his gaze from straying to Macey. All three of them were quiet, somber, focused on what needed to be done. Even T was subdued, not joking around like he usually would.
After their workout, they focused on work. T didn’t even try to get Ray to fulfill his end of the bet for the media figuring out the truth and sit through two days of meetings while T played with Macey. His brother knew how on edge he was.
Ray spent the day with Macey in his office. She had headphones in most of the day and watched the many interviews he, Jensen, and the agency from Germany had done with anyone associated with his mum, any possible suspect.
He tried to work. Somehow, he got through the day.
Most days started following a pattern over the next two weeks. Ray, T, and Macey worked out together in the morning, then he and Macey accompanied T to lunches, functions, or visits throughout the country. Everybody she met was impressed by her and they heard often how lucky T was. Ray tried not to think about that.
When T had online meetings or work at the castle with their father, Ray and Macey brainstormed in his office or she helped him with his load of responsibilities that were stacking up after taking so much time as T’s personal bodyguard. Those days were his favorites. They weren’t finding any answers or new information on the murder case, but he loved being with her.
On Sundays, they went to the village church with guards trailing them. They intermingled with people Ray and T had known their entire lives. Ray kept a sharp eye out, but he couldn’t see any of these people hurting his brother or his mum.
