AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Though there’s little natural light in here, the clock on the bedside table reads early evening. I can’t even remember what time we got in.
With a sigh, I get up, resigning myself to explore the bathroom and get myself cleaned up. There are still stains on my clothes from tripping through the Alpine undergrowth and darker patches of dried blood that I don’t want to examine too closely.
Thankfully, the water is warm, and ten minutes later, I head back into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel.
Arnie is finally awake, propped up in bed, examining his phone. He looks about as bad as I feel. His shirt is torn up on the floor, and the cuts across his bare chest are already beginning to scab over.
“Morning,” he mutters as I close the door behind me.
“Shower’s free,” I reply, somewhat surprised by how mundane my voice sounds.
Arnie gestures to the side, where a pile of clothes has been stacked neatly. “I guess guilt-tripping your brother worked. Someone arrived with clean clothes a few minutes ago.”
“Arnie?”
He finally looks up at me, and I can see the dark rings under his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I confess.
He puts his phone down and closes his eyes. “What?”
“This is my fault.” It somehow feels more real saying it out loud. My voice quivers over the syllables in my words. “If we hadn’t been… If I hadn’t distracted you…”
“Stop it.”
“But–”
“No, I won’t let you throw a pity party for yourself over this,” he says tightly.
I gulp. “I’m trying to take accountability here.”
“There’s no point dwelling on the past, Roisin. It happened. You didn’t know it was coming. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But if–”
“No ifs.” He stands up and begins walking to me. “Ifmy father was around more, I would probably have gone to law school.IfI’d not taken that contract, I would have never met your brother.”
I frown. “You were contracted to kill my brother?”
“My point is,” he hurries over my question, “you can’t go back and fix things like this. You can only use it to fuel your next actions.”
I mull his words over slowly as he approaches. In the cool light of day, my promise to make Padraic pay for this only feels more resolute in my mind. But that doesn’t wash over the pain in my chest or the frantic, delusional hope that I might close my eyes and wake up yesterday morning to do everything all over again.
“Roisin,” Arnie’s fingers touch my chin gently, tipping my head back to look at him. “There is someone to blame for all this, and it’s not the actress from Brooklyn who just wants to see her sister again.”
I stare into his endless dark eyes, searching for the truth. “It’s not the assassin that should have been a lawyer either.”
A small smile graces his lips. “I would have made a great fucking lawyer.”
“I thought you didn’t dwell on ifs,” I point out contrarily.
“But if I did, I’d think about how great a fucking lawyer I would be.” His smile drops. “And what Angus would say if he were here.”
I can’t help it. I push onto my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “He’d want you not to blame yourself. And to maybe decorate your house a bit better next time.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. We still have to face Connor.”
