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“No. Not to the extent that I told you, anyway. All I’ve really said to him and Lawson is what I told you originally.” He shrugs, tapping out a quick reply before placing the phone on the nightstand and looking at me. “Troy grew up in foster care. I’m not going to complain about family problems to someone who doesn’t have one.”
“You don’t strike me as someone who complains about any problems, ever.”
Snapping the light off, I feel the bed move as Corwin burrows down into the sheets. It always takes him a moment to get situated, adjusting the pillow and pulling the sheets around himself until only a hint of brown hair is visible. I don’t reach for him, knowing he prefers to sleep with distance between us.
“Troy always comes to me when he has problems.”
Corwin’s low voice seems born from nothing; the room is dark, illuminated only by a tiny sliver of moon peeking through the window. Not enough to see him by. I wait, unsure of where he’s going to take that statement.
“I have a responsibility to the team as captain, but with Troy and Lawson it’s different. They’re my friends too, not just teammates. And Troy, in particular, trusts me enough to ask for advice on personal issues.” He laughs, suddenly. “Dating advice from me, can you even imagine? He does it with everything, though. And I like that he does, because I like taking care of him, and Lawson, andyou. I’ve always tried to keep my personal shit away from Troy, I guess because I prefer being the man he thinks I am, as opposed to letting him see the reality.”
“I like the reality. And I don’t think anything you could do or say would make Troy love you any less.” Corwin scoffs, a quiet, disbelieving sound. I continue speaking before he can disagree with me. “I’m serious. You don’t see it, but he looks at you like the sun shines from your every orifice and he’s low on Vitamin-D.”
“Now, that’s a visual.”
“Mark my words. You tell them the real reason why you cut ties from your dad, the only person they’re going to see in a different light is him. There is no difference between who you are and the person Troy thinks you are. No difference at all.”
I hear him inhale, long and deep. There is a soft rustle of sheets as he unfolds one arm and slides it across the bed to me. We fall asleep like that, with one of Corwin’s hands curled loosely around my bicep.
Corwin
The banging jolts me awake, and I spend a disoriented moment trying to get my bearings.What the hell is that noise?Sitting up, I rub a hand over my face, fixing the hem of Nigel’s shirt where it rode up my stomach. Beside me, he’s sprawled on his back, face turned in my direction, dark hair fanned out across the white pillowcase. He’s still dead asleep, making me wonder if I imagined the noise.
That is, until I hear it again and recognize it for what it is. Knocking.
Carefully, I slide from the bed and pad barefoot into the hall. Closing the bedroom door silently behind me, I make my way down the stairs. On the second floor landing I nearly collide with Lawson, who’s jogging up from below.
“Shit.” I steady us both with a hand on his shoulder. “Lawson? What are you doing here, is everything alright?”
Everything doesn’t look alright. There is a panicked expression in his dark eyes, and when I go to release him he halts me with a hand on the forearm. His grip is tight. He was running up the stairs, probably taking them two at a time.
“What’s wrong?” I’m suddenly wide awake, eyes skimming over him, making sure he’s all in one piece.
“Fuck, Cor! Is everything alright? I don’t know, you tell me!” His voice is partially raised in alarm. He shoots a look at the closed guest room door and I follow his gaze, confused. His tone is much lower when he speaks again, practically a whisper. “You said you didn’t feel good when you left the party last night and I’ve been calling and texting you all fucking morning.”
He rubs a hand over his chest, like he’s in pain. Glancing again at the guest room, he waves a hand toward the stairs before starting down. Nonplussed, I look at the still-closed door before following him down. He heads straight for the front door, which is sitting open like he rushed inside after using his key. There are several large, brown paper bags sitting on my front step which he gathers up and brings to the kitchen.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I should have texted you last night once I got home. I had my phone on silent all night, so I didn’t hear any notifications this morning.” I feel awful. Lawson clearly thought he was going to find me upstairs, so sick I was incapacitated and unable to answer a simple text. I’ve never been unreachable for him or anyone else on the team before. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Are you feeling better, though?” He eyes me, gaze raking over me like I did to him upstairs. “Did I wake you up?”
“I’m good, and yeah, but that’s okay. I was going to be getting up soon anyway. Do you want something to eat? Sit down, I’ll make you something for breakfast.” Right now, Nigel is upstairs asleep in my damn bed. A veritable ticking time bomb of secrets. I try to step past Lawson toward the refrigerator, but he stops me with a hand flat on my stomach, pushing me back.
“Cor, what’s going on?”
I let out a small sigh. Will there be a better time than this? No, probably not. My relationship with Nigel isn’t a road I’m willing to U-turn on, which means it’s time to loosen my grip on the secret, at least in regard to my friends. “Nigel is upstairs, still asleep.”
Lawson looks apologetic, as though I’m reprimanding him. “I know, I saw his car out front. Figured he must have given you a ride home last night. I hope I didn’t wake him up, when I was pounding on the door.”
I stare at him for a moment, before realizing my mistake. He thinks Nigel is in the guest bedroom, where both Lawson and Troy have spent countless nights. “Oh, no…I don’t think you woke him up. But uh…actually, there is something I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay.”
He looks concerned. I motion for him to have a seat on the other side of the island, and step past him to fill a water glass at the sink. I drink the entire thing down before refilling it and repeating the process. Filling one for Lawson, I turn around and slide it toward him. He doesn’t reach for it, but keeps his hands resting in his lap as he surveys me.Alright, here goes nothing.
“So…I’m gay.”
“Okay.” Lawson nods, smiling faintly. He doesn’t look mad or upset. He doesn’t even look surprised. He looks like he’s waiting for me to continue and get to the point.
