Page 92 of My Noble Disgrace


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He nodded. “That’s a good way to put it.”

I laughed bitterly. “That’s because it’s Shakespeare.”

“Oh,” he said. “Which play? There are too many to keep track of.”

“Julius Caesar,” I said. “When Brutus is justifying the murder of his friend.”

“Well, if I recall, Brutus was the hero, but I’m not here to argue about Shakespeare. This is about you and your misguided relationship with Graham Brennin. We’re living in this hole in the ground because you chose him over everything we’ve worked for. Your mother would’ve never wanted this for us.”

“Don’t invoke my mother,” I said. “She wouldn’t have approved of you lying to me and you know it.”

“But she would’ve approved of my intentions. That’s my entire point!”

“Do you really believe that?” I asked.

“Completely,” he said. “She had her ideals too, but she would’ve given anything to see you take the throne instead of another Brennin.”

Tears stung my eyes. “Graham is not just ‘another Brennin.’ I’m sure that if my mother had ever gotten the chance to get to know him, she would understand.”

My father rolled his eyes. “That’s enough. What I want to know is how we’re going to get out of this.”

“Actually, I just talked to Cael about making a deal for our freedom.”Not that you deserve it, I wanted to add.

“To get our home back?” he asked.

“Well, no,” I said, “It’s a deal to leave Cambria entirely.”

“What do you mean? To live on Tramore? If I’d wanted to go back to living as an outlaw, I would’ve done it years ago.”

I couldn’t tell him the truth of what I intended, or the technology I hoped to find. If he knew what I was planning, he might tell Cael. “It’s better than living underground, isn’t it?”

“Barely,” he said. “But I can’t understand why you’d be bargaining with anyone for what is the equivalent of banishment. That’s a poor deal when what you deserve is the throne.”

“That ship has sailed,” I said. “I will never be allowed any position of status in this city again.”

“Allowed,” he said. “Such a weak way of thinking. It’s time to fight for it.”

“I don’t want a stolen throne!” I said. “When will that become clear to you? And if we lose that battle, we’ll be done for.”

“Not strictly speaking,” he said. “We’re Immovables. They can’t execute us.”

“Have you forgotten that I just killed a nobleman and that you’re an impostor?” I asked. “Evander Stroud gave you his name and title. You’re not a real Immovable. If the Academy ever discovers that truth, you could be executed.”

He scoffed. “I’m not afraid. It’s been twenty years and no one has ever doubted my nobility or my name!” He angrily swiped a croissant from the tea table and took a large bite.

“Graham brought those,” I said proudly.

He spit it out onto the dirt floor. “Disgusting.”

I shook my head. I’d never known a more stubborn person than my father, but that had never bothered me more than it did now. I feared he wouldn’t even go with me if I won our freedom, especially if Graham played any part in it.

If I wanted to leave Cambria, I might have to get used to a life without my father.

Right now, that didn’t sound so bad.

Later,I stirred up dust as I paced the floor of the bedroom where I’d gone to get away from my father and find some peace. I turned the flashlight on and off just to feel the satisfying click of the switch—and because I had nothing else to do but ruminate.

I’d been so mad at my father before seeing him again that I didn’t realize it could get worse. My face still flushed with humiliation over the way he’d seen me with Graham, although part of me was starting to let go and accept the fact that he was and would always be disappointed with me. Back when I thought I could win his approval as effortlessly as Cael seemed to do, I felt motivated, excited even.

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