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Of course, I added it because of my connection with Lily.
And her love of the stars …
I wonder if she still loves looking up at the vastness of the universe as much as she used to? Or is that a part of her that withered over the years of neglect?
A deep wave of sadness rolls through me and my mouth goes dry.
Somehow, I doubt that her insatiable curiosity ever went away.
At least, I hoped not.
That sort of passion never really goes away. It leaves its mark and bides its time, waiting for the best time to claw its way out.
The way she was always so excited to uncover something new—something mysterious... God, I loved seeing that spark light up in her eyes when we were kids.
It was infectious.
I was always trying to surprise her with something new, just to see that light.
Like the time I told her about Atlantis.
She had been so enthralled, hanging on my every word, and never once caring whether or not an eight-year-old could ever be an expert on the subject.
Then, she’d spent weeks researching, reading, and talking with me about it.
If I’m honest, I think that’s why I brought her to the Upper Tier yesterday. That innate, stupid desire to see the spark light in her eyes.
My thoughts once again drift to how the rest of the evening played out, like I hadn’t already spent the past day and night parsing every moment apart.
The sexual tension. Her small inhalations when she was surprised—or turned on. The way her body felt against mine.
That explosive kiss.
It was like all of our pent-up frustrations and feelings were unlocked and allowed to scream out of the box we’d locked them up in.
Briefly.
Fuck me.
I was supposed to get this out of my mind, not continue to play it on a continuous, torturous loop.
Groaning, I push off the chair and head to the kitchen to grab another beer. One is obviously not going to be enough today.
By the time I sit back down, Ed Sheeran’s song,Perfect,haunts me softly from my phone. The weight of the song’s lyrics mess with my already fucked up head and I question whether or not listening to this playlist is really all that helpful.
Yet, I can’t seem to bring myself to hit pause, opting instead for more torture, just to drive home how careless I’d been.
My breath catches as I listen to the lyrics. The serendipity of it.
If stomachs could tie in knots, I’d swear, mine just did.
The song continues on and, yup, now my heart stopped beating.
Damn, I’m practically on the verge of tears here and it’s all because of a damn song.
When I first heardPerfect, I immediately added it to my favorites playlist on YouTube.
Funnily enough, I never questioned why. But deep down, I knew …
