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Holy shit.
A wave of panic crashes over me as I close the door to Dirty Books and flip the lock. I clutch the box of bookmarks to my chest like it’s my only anchor to the planet, and slide down the door until I’m resting on my backside. I breathe in and out, trying to will my heart to slow back down.
It doesn’t overly help.
I flip my palm over and stare at the numbers written across it. In his handwriting.
London’s handwriting.
After all of these years,sure,I’ve imagined what it would be like to see him again. I’ve wondered how he turned out and if he and I would still be friends as adults.
Hell, if he even still remembered me …
But one thing I never imagined was howgoodhe’d look.
For some reason, that sort of thing never occurred to me. I suppose because he was my friend and at ten years old, I was more concerned with whether or not he thought aliens created the pyramids.
“Lily, is that you?” Tasia calls out, breaking me from my mini freakout.
“Yeah—” I croak. I clear my throat and attempt to stand, but my legs aren’t getting the memo.
“Well, get your ass in here,” Tasia hollers. “And lock the damn door this time.”
I don’t even respond to the jab. Instead, I focus on pushing down all of the emotions that are threatening to take me under, so I can deal with them later.
Right now, I need to act like nothing out of the ordinary happened. If these ladies sense blood in the water, they’ll turn into sharks and pry it all out of me. The last thing I need is to spend the next hour hashing out my nonexistent love life when we should be talking about dirty books.
“Hi guys,” I say, plastering a big grin on my face when I get back to the alcove.
Everyone turns my way. Well, everyone except Anna, whose nose is in her phone, per usual.
“Who walked in on who naked?” Vivian blurts out.
“What?” I ask, my voice raising an octave higher than it should have.
She narrows her gaze.
Even Tasia shoots me her side-eye of suspicion before pointing at me. “You gonna hand those over?”
I glance down and realize my fingers are digging into the box of bookmarks. “Oh, right.”
Tasia holds out a hand and I relinquish the box. Then, I take a deep, calming breath as I move past her and back to my seat. Thankfully, Anna kept Vivian from stealing it.
“What’s got your panties all twisted up?” Tasia asks. “Did Quinn talk about his latest vibrator experience or something?”
“No—” I exclaim, then realize I was thinking about London standing behind me while I was holding the big pink monstrosity. “I mean,yes—but that’s not what …” I clamp my mouth shut.
Anna looks up from her phone, turns to me, and slowly quirks an eyebrow.
Even the new girl is eyeing me expectantly.
Shit.Shit. Shit.
I feign ignorance by scratching at the spot under my left eye and clearing my throat.
“So, uh … Let’s see those bookmarks, huh?” I say, pointing toward Tasia and hoping the redirection sticks.
Instead, Tash places the box in her lap and covers it with her hands. “What in the absolute fuck is up with you?”
