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This hate, anger and resentment he bestowed upon me seem to sit like a hollow pit in my stomach. It's burning me from the inside out, and it drove the woman I love away. It has to be all part of this curse. I sat by and watched my anger, like a slow burn, drive her right out of my life, and I did nothing to stop it.
Tamryn was my everything. I swear loved her more than anything because she understood me. The angrier I got, the more she was gentle with me, almost like she was calming those inner demons. But, one day, that all changed, and she left me.
Why did you leave me, Tam? You just let this curse be the end of us? Well, if you just up and leave, you don’t get her. You can’t have Grace. I’m not giving her back, so stop trying. I feel your spirit trying to come for her! You don’t get to come back, not when you knew I loved you! When you left me, you left her!
Why, Tam. Why?
* * *
“So,you are mad at Tamryn…your daughter’s mother?”
My eyes flutter open, and I look at the woman. She is wearing different clothes—so am I.
“Am I in another session?”
“Yes.”
“How did I even get back here? How are you doing that? I don’t remember going home or coming back. Are you hypnotizing me?”
“Something like that. This is a form of spiritual healing to get you through your problems, Phoenix. But before we can do that, and try to break this curse, we need to get to the root of the problem. So, tell me more about Tamryn.”
“I haven’t talked to her in years, shortly after our daughter was born. I don’t know ifhegot to her. I assume he did; she disappeared right after the curse consumed me—when I heard her voice in the flames… She abandoned Grace and me. She hasn’t been back for our daughter until now.”
“Now?”
“Yes, I can feel her presence near. She is coming back. She is trying to see Grace. Our daughter is fourteen now. Tam wants to see her, and I refuse.”
“Why?”
“Why, what? Why is that even a question?”
“It’s a logical question.”
“Fuck logic, Doc. She left us and now wants to come waltzing back after all this time?”
My words from my dream echo in my head.
Over my dead body.
The woman sighs and shakes her head. “Take a drink.”
“No.”
“Take a drink of water, Phoenix.” Her even tone causes me to do as she says, and I physically feel it extinguish some of the fire I feel building inside. She must have sensed it too.
“Better?”
“No,” I lie.
“Yes, it is,” she smirks.
“How do you know?” I scowl.
“I have been dealing with this for a few weeks now with you. I know what works. Now, let's talk about your brothers.”
“Let’s not and say we did.”
“Let’s, and deal with it.”
