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Desperate to escape the reek, I twisted and writhed like an eel, trying to drive my elbows into his ribs, or stamp my heels down on his feet. But the guy had a hold like an alligator wrestler. Then he started to squeeze, and I couldn’t help grunting at the feeling of the arms tightening around me, constricting me like the coils of a great python.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tom flexing his muscles like a boxer entering the ring, advancing on us. Knowing I had just seconds to break free, I arched and smashed my head back into the logger’s face. Pain seared across my skull as it connected with something solid, but Fur Hat must have got the worst of it because he let out a roar and his hold loosened. It was only a slight release, but it was enough.
Trying to fight two opponents at once was a mug’s game. They would always have the upper hand, be able to deal out twice as much damage while only taking half the punishment. The trick was to deal with them one at a time. Put down one quick, so you could then deal with the other. It wasn’t a perfect system. It worked, most of the time, but at times like this, you just had to be a mug.
And take both men on at once.
I kicked out, smashing my heel into the side of Tom’s knee. The big woodcutter roared in surprise and agony, his leg buckling. I pivoted as he went down, ripping my right arm free of Fur Cap’s grip, and brought it round to hammer into his face. My elbow had turned his mouth into a red ruin, and my headbutt had taken care of his nose. He reeled with the force of the punch, but I followed as he went back, cranking my fist back to deliver another, and then another, until he toppled to the ground in a bloody mess. He wouldn’t be getting up from that for a while.
There was a low wheezing sound coming from my back, and when I turned, I saw that Tom had curled himself into a ball and was clutching at his knee. “God damn, that hurts, doesn’t it?” I asked, grinning. People always expected to get kicked in the balls. They forgot there were other, far more effective targets. “If I were you, I’d just sit there for a while. Maybe you won’t need crutches for the rest of your li-”
The axe was a big, two-handed chopper with a broad blade. I felt the wind of it brush against my face as it sliced by and lurched back as the weight of the axe carried Jasper past me. He’d definitely spent more time in the office than sweating out here in the wilds with the lads. His hands were too close together, and he handled it worse than Kate Winslet on Titanic.
He swung around to face me and brandished the axe like a sword, his eyes wide with a mix of fury and panic. Never a good mix for rational thinking.
“Oh yeah, very cute,” I said, backing away another step, needing to put some distance between me and the axe. “Now put that thing down before you hurt yourself.”
However, Jasper wasn’t in any state of mind to listen. He’d been confident before, with three big guys watching his back, but they were all out of it now and he was alone, and he’d started flapping. He came after me as I edged back, bringing that axe up and around. I twisted so that it passed me by, but he was quicker to recover than I’d expected and brought it around again for another swing. I kicked as he did, driving the flat of my shoe into his unguarded belly, throwing him back into the mud. The axe flew from his hands and clattered to the ground between us.
“Now,” I say, panting slightly as I pick up the axe and go to stand over him. “Wouldn’t it be simpler just to pay our mutual friend what’s owed? Huh?”
“I haven’t got the money, alright,” he groaned, his upper lip trembling, but his eyes fixed on the axe blade that hung over his throat. He was a pathetic sight, stretched across the filth in his grey suit, like a turtle on its back. My kick had left a smeared mud print across his soaked shirt, and I wasn’t sure if the water running down his cheeks was rain, sweat, or tears. “I just need more time.”
I smirked and chuckled. “Yeah, I thought you’d say something like that. Isn’t it funny how many people recon they can pay off their debts, with just a more time. Well, unfortunately, Mr Ritter hasn’t got the time. But I do have a solution.” Reaching into my jacket’s other pocket, I pulled one of the two identical sheets of paper that I’d printed off at the barn and handed them to him. “Here you go.”
He took it cautiously. “What’s this?”
“Well now, that’s a receipt for that very flash car of yours over there. At current market value, that should more than cover your debt to Mr Ritter, as well as the interest owed and-”
“What!” He cut me off, his eyes going wide with disbelief as he looked from the document to me. Then outrage. “That’s a 911 Turbo S cabriolet! It’s mortgaged for over two hundred thousand dollars. I’m not selling it for sixty-Ahh!” His voice died away in a gurgle as I pressed my boot into the soft meat of his neck.
“Oh yes you are, Jasper, unless Mr Ritter gets his money by Friday morning. Now, sign, come on.” My face was hard as I pressed down on his throat, just long enough for his eyes to go wide and have him clawing for breath. When I pull back slightly, he takes a pen from his jacket and scribbles a hasty signature on the dotted line, the last of his defiance gone. I check it, then fold and pocket it before handing him the other copy. “That’s a good boy. Now there’s your copy, my numbers on the bottom. You call me when you have the money and you’ll get the car back. Until then, keys please.” I extended my hand, but he was already fishing the fob from his pocket. Taking the card, I smiled pleasantly down at him. “Pleasure doing business with you, Mr Delvacio.”
Turning my back on the broken group, I dropped the axe and walked to the Porsche. Unlocking it with a click of the fob, I slid into the driver’s seat. It was the latest model, with all the optional extras included and a steering wheel like something on the Starship Enterprise. Fortunately, the keyless ignition button was easy to spot.
The engine roared to life, and Britney Spears started screeching through the speakers. It was fucking awful, but I didn’t have time to figure out how to shut her up. Instead, I slid the car into drive and sped away without a backward look.
