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Taking a deep breath, I tell them everything. I recount how my parents bailed, and Josh and I had spent the majority of the day together, going on rides, eating food, and shopping. As I talk, I can feel my face turning red with embarrassment.
After I tell them about the Ferris wheel and the almost kiss which follows, I get squeals from them. I then tell them about the fireworks on Sarah's in-law's deck and the mini make out season, ending with the text we shared once I got home.
Of course, I have to admit how I've had a crush on Josh since I was sixteen and how over the last two years, it's developed into something more. Then I wait for their opinions.
"When you say father's best friend. How old is he?" Sarah asks.
"He’s thirty-eight, fifteen years older than me."
"Okay, I'm only going to ask this because I love you. He hasn't touched you before tonight? Or made a move before?" Sky asks.
I know she wants to know this because I've known this man almost all my life.
"Not once. He moved away when I was sixteen, and then I didn't see him until my high school graduation. He followed my dad here and didn't start having weekly dinners with us until about a year ago," I tell them.
"Do you have any photos?" Sarah asks. I pull a few from my phone that we took today and show them.
"Damn, he's good looking for an older guy. But don't tell my husband I said that," Sarah says.
Her husband Mac knows she loves him. They have been dancing around each other since they were teens, and Sky got to watch the whole thing. I'm a bit jealous I didn't meet them until later, but I still got to see them finally give in to their love.
"So, what is holding you back?" Sky asks.
"Well, it’s him fighting moving forward. Wondering how my dad would take it once he found out, and what people will think when they know..."
"First, screw everyone else. Don't ruin your chance at happiness because of what other peoplemightthink," Sarah says.
"I have to agree with her there,” Sarah says. “From the sound of things, it seems like your dad is the biggest issue here. Josh is holding back because your father is his best friend. You are hesitant because it's your dad."
"Your dad is going to love you no matter what. He will eventually forgive you, and you will be okay. It's Josh that has the most to lose here. Their friendship might not recover," Sky says.
I know she's right. Sighing heavily, I lean back on the couch, feeling overwhelmed by my conflicting feelings. On the one hand, I can't deny the intense attraction I feel towards Josh. On the other hand, I don't want to jeopardize his relationship with my dad or have our own relationship scrutinized by others.
"I don't know what to do," I admit, looking at my friends for answers that I know they can't give me. "I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place."
"Sadly, this is a situation where you have to take a step back and let Josh make his choice. He has the most to lose, and he has to be the one to choose to move forward," Sky says.
"That doesn't mean you can't let him know that you want this and that you are there for him. Personally, I say take the chance. I was in your shoes with Mac, and we lost so much time because we danced around each other. Stop waiting," Sarah says.
"I agree. Make sure he knows you want this, but don't push too hard. He has to make the choice," Sky adds.
"And how do I do that?" "You could always take a dinner over to his place. Say you didn't want to eat by yourself because your parents aren't home. Then you two are alone at his place and see where it goes," Sky says.
The idea isn't half bad, and it gives me something to think about. We stay up and talk and catch up with each other for a bit longer. As the night grows later, I realize just how much I have missed my friends and how much I value their advice.
Once we hang up and finish our conversation with Sarah, Sky gives me a hug. Then Dash and her take me out to the loft above the garage.
"This way you can have your own space to think. Come back to the main house for breakfast whenever you get up," Sky says before leaving me with my thoughts.
This is the loft Sky stayed in when she worked for Dash. It took her a while before she realized the man everyone called The Beast was really her ex-boyfriend. He had been hiding in plain sight with long hair and a beard. They have been inseparable ever since.
After I change into my pajamas, I flop down on the bed. I want some time alone with Josh. Though I'm still worried what people will think or say behind my back. It is a small town, and I've made it a point to get to know everyone. After all, that was the entire big reason I've taken the job waiting tables at the diner. What will they think of me dating someone so much older? Do I care what they think? What will they say? What could they do to me?
Before I make a move like bringing Josh dinner, I have to decide what I want. If I make such a bold move, I need to know for sure that I am all in.
Chapter 5
Josh
