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“Hey now,” said Baleon as they sauntered down to the water. “You better watch out, I’ll be on your tail in no time.”
“Another beautiful friendship,” Istil said.
“Ari, you gonna join?” Makoa asked, picking up a wakka.
“Not this time,” I said.
“You’d better have a good excuse, brotha!”
“I’m going to stay with Istil,” I told him.
“Good excuse.” He pointed at Rainor. “I know you’re in.”
“My friend, if you show me what to do, I’m there,” Rainor said.
The four of them hit the water with their boards. Istil took my hand, and I walked with him and Thran down to the shallows where Delos was floating around on his back and Oli was playing. Visir, Haru, Theo, and Eli sat on the sand, munching on snacks and sipping firewater.
Thran took to the water with the same ease as Istil, and we swam together and watched the others on their wakka carving up the waves. Baleon battled with the board for a while, unable to maintain his balance when he rose to his feet. Thran floated nearby and berated him with words of harsh motivation until finally he popped up, slashed into a wave, and rode it to its end.
“They’re mates?” I said to Istil. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say Thran was trying to insult him.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of their thing,” he replied.
I turned onto my back and let the warm surf carry me. The water rolled over my head, plunging my senses into another world. I was surrounded by the sounds and scents of my friends and family, carried through the surrounding sea, and let myself drift beneath the surface, which shone like a mirror above me. It wasn’t often I was able to let go and enjoy myself at the beach with my cousins. I’d not permitted myself to do so, because I’d believed I didn’t deserve it. But I did. I deserved to not only live my life but enjoy it.
Istil swam along the surface above me, the gorgeous shape of his pregnant body silhouetted against the shimmering blue. He looked down and saw me and dove to meet me. He grinned and reached out with both hands, and I took them, and we drifted down until my back settled against the sand. His scent was all around me in the water, warm and so incredibly comforting. Then I realized there was another scent there too—our baby girl. I’d detected it for the first time through the medium of the water, a tiny but powerful presence.
I’d always dreamed of accomplishing great things. My life was an unending pursuit of that impossible goal. I was the island’s best healer. I was respected. I’d managed the Blue Fin Clan, acted as leader, managed my family’s affairs, and cared for my cousins and my grandmother—but still hadn’t been satisfied. Nothing ever would satisfy me, not with the way I thought about myself. I was moving through the world like a blind dragon, unwilling to stop and feel the sun on my face every once in and while because I was afraid that if I did, I would lose myself and fail.
I couldn’t afford to keep my eyes closed any longer. If I did, I was going to lose something far more important than any accomplishment I’d ever imagined for myself.
Chapter17
Istil
“Tolerance for pain?” Thran asked.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
Ari looked like he was ready to disappear out of existence. He coughed and cleared his throat before saying, “I think you two have a lot to catch up on. Take your time.” Then he spun around and left the courtyard.
Thran and I laughed lightly over our little joke.
“Poor guy,” said Thran.
“He can take it,” I said, then shifted my tone. “I’m sorry again for not sharing this with you sooner, Thran.”
“Yes, well… I understand why you couldn’t, and I know if I’d been here on the island with you, it would’ve been different. You told me when you were ready to tell me.”
“And I’m so glad that you’re here,” I told him. “Because I could really use your ear right now.”
Thran looked at me with concern. I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job of moderating the emotions that suddenly welled to the surface.
“Talk to me, Istil,” he said.
We sat together on a bench close to the pool.
“When this all started, I didn’t have much hope for our ending,” I said. “But Ari has turned out to be so much more than I could’ve expected. He’s come through in every way for me and the baby. He’s trusted me with so much. All of the things I hated about him—his strictness, his severity, everything I thought I would never want in a mate—I now understand. I’d even call them endearing. It’s him, and I…I love him.”
