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A growl formed in his throat, and then his hips jerked forward and stilled. The base of his cock teased my clit as he throbbed inside me. We moaned in unison, and he shuddered.
Covering my body, he slumped over me, bracing his weight on his elbows and looking down at me. His cock still nestled inside me, we stared at each other. Only inches from each other, I searched his eyes. Without a word, his mouth was soft and sweet on mine. He shifted his arms, tucking them under me and holding me to his broad chest.
His body was heavy in the best way.
Duke lifted his head, and the fierce expression he’d worn earlier had shifted into something different. Softer.
Contentment, maybe?
He ran his nose down mine with a tenderness I’d never experienced. Duke kissed me again before slowly lifting off me. Immediately I missed the heat and weight of him. His hand grazed down my body as though he was memorizing every dip and curve. I sighed and closed my eyes, watching the sunlight dance behind my eyelids as the trees swayed overhead. I reveled in its heat as it warmed my skin, wishing I could pause this moment and keep it forever.
When I opened my eyes, Duke was staring down at me, but the content look he’d worn only moments before was replaced by something... sadder.
“Let’s get you cleaned up.”
I nodded and pushed myself to a sitting position. Sand was fuckingeverywhere. I gathered my bikini, shaking it out as Duke took care of the condom. He slipped on his trunks and walked toward the water, giving me the opportunity to dress in private.
A sinking feeling tugged at my belly, and my chest ached. The thought of having to go back to talking with him only in secret was unbearable. I watched him look out onto the waters of Lake Michigan and wondered if he was having the same inner crisis, or if maybe this was something else entirely for him. Maybe it wasn’t as life-altering for Duke as it felt for me.
After redressing, I stepped up beside him, looking out onto the lake as the late-afternoon sun hung heavily in the distance. The vast emptiness of the unending water mirrored my insides.
Duke’s hand briefly found the center of my back, but he dropped it just as quickly. “We should get you back.”
I nodded. My throat was tight, and though I desperately wanted to beg him for answers, to figure out what we were supposed to do next, I let the silence stretch between us.
Just this once. And we won’t tell anyone.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Why had I said that?
I wished I could take the words back, but I also knew, deep down, that we couldn’t tell anyone. No one would understand. But it also hurt a little that Duke hadn’t disagreed with me.
A thousand scenarios played out in my mind, and none of them ended without one of us being broken.
After we gathered the board and bag, the trip back to the main beach was quiet. I stood behind him as he paddled and leaned into him, closing my eyes and wishing things could be different.
My only comfort was his warm hand covering mine. I pinched my eyes closed.
What had I done?
TWELVE
DUKE
Just this once.And we won’t tell anyone.
Sylvie’s breathy words, whispered on the beach just before she turned my world upside down, replayed on an endless loop.
When she said them, I was stunned. Angered.
I was a fucking idiot.
I should have told her that wouldn’t work for me, but instead I panicked. I knew in my gut I would take Sylvie in any way she would allow, even if that meant secret texts and whispered conversations.
