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On the edge of the property at Haven Pines sat the newly finished, semi-independent homes. They were still maintained by Haven Pines staff, but each small home was a private, detached living space for residents who qualified. A nurse would visit him daily, and there was even a button in each house that alerted staff if an emergency were to arise. In the small community, residents had opportunities like boating, knitting, pickleball, even yoga.
Fuckingyoga.
I looked around Dad’s new living room and clenched my jaw. The community was too secluded. Too distant from the main building and staff. Too far from help if Dad had any kind of emergency. I didn’t like it despite my siblings going on and on about how great it was.
“Doesn’t look out on the back forty acres, but it sure as hell beats being neighbors with Winnie McCallister.”
I grunted a laugh. Ms. Winnie was pushing her ninety-eighth birthday and was infamous for her lack of filter. If she didn’t like breakfast or the weather or how your face looked, you’d hear about it.
I shrugged. “I kind of like the old bird.”
“You would,” Dad scoffed. “Kindred spirits.”
He shook his head and walked another lap around the small living space before shoving at the recliner. “I don’t like this.”
I stepped up next to him and helped him move it two feet to the left. “Better?”
“No, but I suppose it’ll do.”
I laughed to myself and reached behind me into the small cooler I’d brought. I handed Dad the bottle, and his eyebrow arched upward.
“To celebrate your new move.” I twisted off the top and handed it to Dad.
He didn’t seem to notice it was a nonalcoholic beer and sank down on the plush couch with a sigh. “Home sweet home.”
I sat next to him, taking a sip of my own bottle. “It’s a nice place. I’m happy for you.”
“Bullshit.” Dad smiled as he took a sip of his beer. “No one I know hates change more than you.”
I shook my head and considered. He wasn’t wrong. “Feels like this past year has been nothing but change thrown in my face.”
“And was it all bad?”
My mind immediately filled with images of Sylvie’s sweet face. “No, sir. It wasn’t all bad.”
“Good, ’cause I’ve got one more to throw at you.”
I shifted, eyeing my father and attempting to gauge his level of clarity. According to his medical team, the clinical trial had been a resounding success. I could think of only a handful of bad episodes in the last month, and that alone felt like a miracle. Wehad more calm days with our dad, and for that I’d be forever grateful.
Dad sighed. “You can’t come see me every day.”
My face scrunched. “What? Dad, come on . . .”
He lifted his hand. “I’m serious. There’s no reason for you to come lurking around every day. You can’t baby me, August.”
I swallowed hard at Dad’s use of my real name.
“Now I want to see you, I do, but you put your entire life on hold for me. For us. There will be days when I need you.” Dad tapped his temple. “You know better than I do that I’m not always all right up here, but I also don’t feel like I’m drowning. I got your mother, and we?—”
I frowned, an arrow piercing my chest as he spoke. “Mom’s gone, Dad.”
A flicker of sorrow washed over his features as if he were reliving her death all over again. I wanted to scream, to slam my fist againstanythingto help him stop reliving the shock of her death all over again.
“I know that.” Dad’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Just don’t always like to remember it is all.” He raised his chin and pinned me in place with his bright-blue eyes. “The doctors said I was safe enough to be here. I can live out my life as best as I can with the time I’ve got. But you have to do the same, Son.”
I pressed my fingers into my eye sockets. “What are you saying, Dad? I’m not welcome here?”
Dad’s laugh startled me. “Course not, you idiot. What I am saying is you don’t have to run yourself ragged worrying about me. I got plenty of people in my business around here. Pretty soon you’re going to have your own family to stress over.”
