AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A cool tone: “What, Kat? What is it you think you know?” ?
“I know you like to put your nose in,” I say, more sharply than I mean to. “Especially where Adam is concerned. But I know what’s best for my son, and what’s best for my son is not to be in his father’s life—do you understand? I can’t have you dropping hints or making snide little remarks. Aleks is smart. He’ll pick up on it if he doesn’t pick up on all of this himself. And if that happens…I can’t promise I can keep my son safe.”
“It doesn’t sound like you can do that anyway.” She throws the towel down on the counter. “What kind of dealings are we talking about here, Kat? And why the hell won’t you get the police involved?”
I think of my gun, returned safely to my nightstand. And I think of Konstantin—his piercing, ice-white eyes and pale hair, his cocky smile as he slid into that booth across from me at the bar that first night. A chill courses down my spine.
“I know you think I’m immature,” I say quietly. “I know you think I’m a bad mother, because I don’t have some husband, some father to help raise Adam. And I know you and your friends look down on me because I don’t make enough money, or drive a nice car, or live in a big house. But know this—that everything I have done, everything I have sacrificed, I have done it for Adam. He is everything to me. And anyone who threatens his safety—even you—will pay for it.”
Mom watches me with a cool, almost sneering smile. “So, this is the thanks I get? For taking care of your son at the drop of any hat? For being the stand-in father for him because you couldn’t pick a good man to get knocked up by?”
I stare at her, stung. It’s not like there’s any illusion about how she feels about it, my whole having a kid out of wedlock and moving back to my hometown in shame. But hearing it said aloud hurts, nonetheless.
“Is he in danger now, here? With me?” Her tone has softened just a little.
“No. And Aleks will be gone soon, and all of this will be over.”
“I still don’t even know what ‘this’ is.” She turns back to the counter and continues making her sandwiches, though her gestures are rougher now, angrier. “That boy deserves better, you know. He deserves a mother who isn’t working all the time. A house that looks like a house and not like a wreck. He deserves better than not even knowing who his father is.”
“Maybe you’re right. But right now, I can’t think about that. I need you to keep Adam close. Just for another day, or a few.”
She glares at me sideways. “You’re not sick, are you?”
“No.” Why lie? I’m no good at it. “I need your word. Don’t tell James anything. Don’t say anything suspicious to Aleks or Adam. And don’t,don’ttry to get the police involved—it isn’t like that, and would only make things worse. Do you understand?”
“I understand.” She watches me. “But in return, I don’t want you here.”
My heart trembles. “What?”
“You left this man, and lied to him about his own son for four years. If he’s dangerous enough to justify all of that, he should be nowhere near Adam. Or me. Or you, for that matter. So, while he’s here, you damn well better not be.” Her eyes dance, cold and angry. “Stay sick, Kat. Until he’s gone, and you can come around here without him sticking to you like a shadow.”
I bite my cheek. In a way, I’m grateful she’s giving me the hard-lined stance. It justifies, more than I could have before, my staying away from my son. Even if it hurts just the same to face it head-on.
“This will all be resolved,” I tell my mom. “Soon. Just please—keep it to yourself, for now. Please.”
She studies me, then nods once. I can sense her disappointment. I can practically smell it, dense, musky. I turn away and she catches my arm, much the same as I did hers a moment ago. She doesn’t look at me, but at the countertop, her face unyielding as ever.
“There’s something to be said for that,” she says, her eyes shifting to mine. “Walking away like that. Setting your own life aside like that…to protect your son.”
I stare at her, my breath catching. I don’t think my mom has ever said she was proud of me. This isn’t quite that, I know. But it’s something. I can’t seem to speak, so I just nod once. Right then, James and Aleks push back inside, holding cans of sweating beers and with rain in their hair. Aleks looks strangely…happy, almost. He’s coming in mid-laugh, his eyes crinkling in the way my—our—son’s, do. I don’t know what he’s talking about with my brother, but the conversation seems to have transformed him. I see a flash of him as the man I knew before Iknewhim, intimately. Younger, more carefree; a college kid with college friends and college woes, parties and girls and grades. Not burdened by crime, or else not overtaken by it.
At that same moment, Adam comes rushing back in, wild, hair pushed back and hands still wet.
“Adam, slow down,” Mom and I both say at the same time, but it’s too late—he’s running fast, and on a dead collision course with Aleks. The back door bangs shut, and James is right behind Aleks, and Adam crashes straight into him.
“Easy there,” says James, chuckling, pushing past both Adam and Aleks and cruising into the kitchen. But Aleks is still, his hand on Adam’s shoulder in reflex, looking down at him. My son.
Our son.
My heart isn’t even beating. I might not be breathing. I feel like I’m watching a moment unspool in real time, every second ticking away, right there before my eyes. I’m looking not at Adam, not at my mom or my brother, but at Aleks—wondering if these last days with him have taught me his language well enough to read it in his face.
His impassive face. His cool, thoughtful eyes. Heat buzzes up the back of my neck. I feel like I’m walking on a bridge of glass, tiptoe by tiptoe, hands up and out, head tilted, trying to catch the sound of the first give, the first web, the first finger of a crack.
Then Aleks chuckles, and releases Adam, and picks up his conversation with my brother like nothing at all has happened.Maybe nothing has. Maybe he really doesn’t realize. Maybe he didn’t look into Adam’s eyes and see a reflection of his own.But something tells me I’d be foolish to think that. Trembling, I go to Adam, gather him. We all join again at the kitchen table, but I can barely process any of it. Mom doesn’t make me sit away from them, not even bothering to keep up with the pretense of my being sick. Maybe in some way, she sympathizes with me. Or maybe she knows I just need a moment, just an afternoon, to spend with my son.
We eat. We talk. And soon enough, it is time to go. I don’t mean to, but I hurry the goodbyes—I’ll see Adam again soon enough; this will all be over soon enough, I tell myself—because I’m terrified that even one more minute with Adam will solve the mystery for Aleks.
In the truck, he’s silent. He doesn’t say a word, just drives. And I have to take that as confirmation.He doesn’t know. He doesn’t suspect.
