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I waited for him to return from his afternoon shift of watching Henrik.
“Is he the same?” I asked Jacques.
Jacques took a deep breath, nodding his head. “It’s too hard to reach him. The demon has too much power. Once Adrian’s ship has been out to sea for a day, we’ll take Henrik out to sea as well. We’ll extract the demon when we’re out at sea.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “I wonder how Adrian feels about that idea.”
“He doesn’t know it.” He waved a pointed finger at me. “And don’t go blabbering it to him either.”
“How can I when you won’t let me see him? It’s hard to tell him anything, quite frankly.”
“It’s for your protection. You have a way of being reckless.”
I folded my arms, tipping my chin up at him. “It’s part of my charm.”
“It gives me a headache.”
He rubbed the back of his head, the usual dark circles under his eyes darker than before. He sat on one of the benches in his room, leaning his head against the wall and shutting his eyes with a long sigh. I almost felt guilty for being stubborn with him for the past couple of days, knowing how hard he was working to help Henrik. But I also knew that he was too worn down to fight with me, and I could use that to my advantage.
“Will you let me see Adrian off?” I asked.
Jacques opened his eyes slowly to stare at me. He hesitated for a moment, his fingers curling into loose fists.
“Give me one good reason,” he said.
“Because it will be the last time I ever see him.”
Jacques chuckled. “Giving up the pirate captain then? I’m rather surprised, I must say. I thought as soon as you got back home you’d throw off the engagement and go after him. With the spell you have over him, he’d definitely come looking for you. You’re telling me that doesn’t tempt you?”
He stood up again, walking over to his bed to strip and change shirts. I had seen him shirtless so many times since we met that I didn’t even feel awkward about it anymore. Instead, I gripped my hands in my clothes, stepping toward Jacques’s back and summoning up my courage.
“I’m giving up everyone,” I said. “I’ve decided to get my wings, Jacques.”
He stopped halfway through buttoning up his clean shirt to turn back and face me. I tried not to cower under his gaze, despite how intimidating it was. It wasn’t that he was angry. But he was serious. More serious than I had ever seen him.
And that was saying something, considering he was quite serious most of the time.
“What did you say?” he asked, voice low.
“I said I want my wings,” I replied. “The longer I’m here, the more I know I belong here.”
He stepped forward to meet me. “You know what this means, then? You have to give up everything, Esmeralda. Your father, your friends, your previous life completely—”
“Yes, I understand it. And I hate it. I hate leaving my father, but what else can I do? I feel like no matter what world I live in, I’ll be missing a piece of me. My heart aches no matter which path I choose.”
“And what makes you think your wings will fulfill your ache?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know that the world feels so terribly small now. If I go back to my life before, I’ll always feel claustrophobic.”
He spent some time processing the words, and I didn’t rush him. The silence was making my heart pound and making my decision waver. He finished buttoning his shirt, then slowly exhaled through his nose, not looking at me.
“Then…” Jacques said finally, breaking the silence. “You have two options. When I return to your father I can tell him that I never found you, or I can tell him that you’re dead.”
Now my heart was pounding so hard that it was making me shake.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Are those the only two options?”
He looked at the ground for a moment longer, then finally rose up to meet my eyes.
