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I swallowed.
You’ve sssuffered with your thoughts alone for so long,he continued.It’s nice to have sssomeone to share them with, isn’t it?
“I don’t trust you.”
I’m not your enemy, you know.
“You’re not my ally either.”
How ssso? I’ve offered to help you gain your honor back. I’ve offered to help you become a name respected and feared among the seasss so you’re never scorned again. You canprovide for your family. You can start your own family. Everything you ever wanted—
“If I submit to you,” I finished. “That doesn’t make you an ally, that makes you my owner.”
And yet…you haven’t gotten rid of me yet. I’m ssstill here.
I chewed my bottom lip, knowing he was right. If I had wanted to rid myself of him, I could have done it by now. He wasn’t possessing me, but I was keeping him close by. I wasn’t rejecting him.
It was the thing I feared most about myself.
NINETEEN
I looked down at my hands as they shook.
I should have been dead. I had been cornered by pirates, their swords drawn. They were ready to run me through.
And then Dagon…
You don’t have to thank me,he said.I was jussst doing my job as your protector.
I couldn’t form any words. I could only play that moment in my mind over and over again.
I had thrown two men overboard, at the same time.
This is only a sssmall amount of the power I can give you,Dagon added.Remember that.
“I don’t want power,” I said, as if speaking out loud would make it true. “I simply want to save my family.”
You have to sssave yourself first, don’t you?
My hands shook harder. I needed to get rid of him. I needed to find a way to extract him before I—
There was a knock at the door.
It took me two tries to get my shaking hand around the doorknob to open it. Adrian was rubbing his neck with his hand on the other side, looking lost in thought even though he had just knocked.
“What is it?” I asked, feeling sweat drip down my neck.
He continued to rub his neck. I glanced between him and the door as he did, realizing this was the first time he had actually knocked instead of barging in.
He stepped in, not looking at me but instead at the swords on the wall.
“I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why you would teach her to fight,” he finally said. “It seems really obvious now.”
I swallowed my heartbeat. “What are you talking about?”
He looked over his shoulder at me. “Esmeralda. You like her, don’t you?”
I laughed, far more awkwardly than I should have. “Of course not. I’m simply trying to keep us from getting imprisoned for life.”
