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I felt her shiver under my touch. This was the closest we had ever been in hundreds of years, and I wasn’t about to give up the opportunity. I wrapped my wings around us, attempting to keep her from running away from me. Not until I said what needed to be said.
“I’ll wait for you to come back to us,” I said. “But you need to know, it kills me to wait like this.”
She didn’t speak or move, allowing me to trace the lines in her face. It was not the body she had been born with as a siren. I remembered her so differently. But her soul was exactly the same, and no matter what shell she had now, the beauty I always saw in her was still there.
“It’s funny,” I continued, “I started to fall for you on that ship, not remembering that I had already loved you as a siren.”
Her eyes flashed with disbelief and surprise, her lips gaping.
“What?” she asked, swallowing.
“I always had different feelings toward you, but sirens are expected to live with their feelings second. When you came aboard that ship, there were pieces of you that made me feel at home. And now that I’m truly home, it still doesn’t feel right without you.”
The king was right. My heart was pulled in so many directions that it was impossible to find peace. But he also must have known my feelings toward Astraea, considering he knew my heart more than anyone.
And because he knew, I felt no guilt in my confession.
My words, however, made Astraea freeze in her place.
“Is my confession too much, little dove?” I asked with a chuckle.
She seemed to come back to reality for a moment, her eyes softening as she looked at me. I had always wanted her to look at me in such a way.
She smiled, holding out her palm. “See for yourself.”
I looked down at her hand and then reached out to put my fingers to her wrist. Her heart was beating fast, faster than I thought was possible for an incarnate. That was my confirmation. Although sirens felt feelings second, we still had them. They were there. And the woman I had loved for centuries was in my arms.
This was the love I had been searching for when I had taken so many women for myself. Those women didn’t belong to me, and so they had never felt right.
But Astraea…she was mine. Rightfully. Wonderfully. Beautifully.
It gave my heart peace.
The king said I hadn’t suffered from loneliness, and I realized in this moment that he was right. It wasn’t loneliness I felt, but restlessness.
Maybe it was part of my design. Maybe I would never be satisfied.
But with Astraea in my arms, at this moment, I felt like everything was the way it should have been. That was enough for now. Even if there were holes in my spirit, one less hole was enough.
