Page 123 of Carved in Scars


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“It’s what you wanted, right?”

I nod. “I can’t stay here.”

“I know. It doesn’t change anything, though.”

I blink back tears. As much as I want that to be true, how could it not? Long distance is hard enough as it is, and maybe once I’m gone, Devon will realize how much simpler everything is without me. Then, he’ll just stop calling. He’ll find a girl who laughs easily and doesn’t have a tortured past spelled out in scars across her body. She’ll wear a bathing suit and have a big family to share Thanksgiving with, and she’ll make him happier than I ever did.

“Hey,” he says. “Where’d you go?”

“Oh, um. Nowhere. I’m here. I’m okay. That house is going to work out really well. I’m really excited for it.”

“Really? Because you look like you just got the worst news of your life.”

I shrug, and he pulls me into his lap.

“I love you,” I tell him.

“I love you, too. Nothing is going to change that.”

“I guess I should sign the lease and start looking for bus routes.”

“Ally, I’m going to drive you down there.”

“Really? Are you sure you can even do that?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m fine, and I can’t wait to see the place. I can’t wait to meet your mom.”

I’ve spoken to my mom several times since that night. I hoped I’d be able to keep what happened to me a secret, but unfortunately, with the publicity all of this got, it wasn’t possible. It broke her heart, and that broke mine, too. Each time we talk, all she does is cry.

She feels guilty like I do. I bet it keeps her up at night, too.

Devon helps me sign the lease, and once we get confirmation that it was received, he wires the money over from the bank account he set up for me with our illicit funds.

Not that I ended up needing it in the end. Jeff set up a GoFundMe to help with my fresh start. I could have paid for the entire year in advance. Money probably won’t be a problem for a while.

Monday rolls around far quicker than I’d hoped. Devon starts to load up the car, and I try my best to be excited, but the idea of leaving him again hurts too badly.

“Don’t,” he says.

“What?”

“Whatever you’re thinking. I can see that it’s something you shouldn’t be thinking about. You’re going to try to break up with me in the car and tell me it’s for my own good or something andhow it’s okay for me to be happy without you and some other bullshit—I can feel it.”

I laugh and shake my head, but I can’t deny it. It is kind of along the lines of what I’m thinking.

“Find something to be excited about,” he says. “We’re going to see your mom, and you get to go furniture shopping. You’ll get to make that place look however you want. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with it.”

He kisses me, and we get into the car and start the long drive to Eugene. When we’re finally on the 5 freeway, I ask, “How long do you think you’ll stay?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I was thinking…forever.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you already, Ally. You’re not getting rid of me. I’m going with you. My dad is going to ship the rest of my stuff. It’s us against the world, remember?”

“But what about school?”

“I dropped out, too,” he says.

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