Page 40 of The Moral Dilemma


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Noelle couldn’t even say the words out loud. So heartbreaking this new information was that she couldn’t stop herself from bawling her eyes out.

“Shh. Don’t cry for me. It’s all in the past.”

“How can it be?” She sniffled. “This man. Tell me his full name,” she demanded.

“He’s dead. It’s why I was sold again,” he sighed. “Please don’t worry about it.”

“You wereraped, Raf. For months. I… I simply cannot imagine how you’re still sane after that.”

“I was drugged most of the time. Maybe it’s a blessing that I don’t remember all that much,” he told her, pressing his lips to her forehead and effectively ending the conversation.

She realized that although he’d opened up to her, he’d mostly told her surface level information—the facts as they’d occurred. He didn’t go deeper into his state of mind, or about how the trauma that he’d endured his entire life was weighing on him.

Noelle didn’t want to probe more and make him uncomfortable when she noticed he was already becoming on edge. But she vowed to herself that she would get to the root of it. And along the way, she would heal this broken man that still tried to be so strong for everyone else.

Raf… Her Blue.

Tears pricked at her eyelids as she nestled closer into his arms.

He was seemingly such an easy going guy, simple, uncomplicated. But it was all a front he put to the world. Underneath, she felt the turbulent torrents and the things he wanted to hide. She saw more than he wanted her to see—more than he wantedanyoneto see. But it was for that reason that she loved him above all.

He was her tie to normality—the tether that kept her grounded. But he was also a twin soul, for in him she recognized her own tumultuous emotions and the loud voices that wouldn’t let her be.

They were different.

But they were still the same.

“You’re not the only one with a fucked up family dynamic,” she confessed.

She wanted to share some of her own issues so he would feel more comfortable confiding in her—so he would see that their circumstances weren’t as different after all.

“In my case, it was my mother that always found fault with me.”

Noelle proceeded to tell him about her childhood, giving him only enough details so that he would realize the extent of the trauma her mother had given her, but not enough so he would recognize she wasn’t Lucero.

“She always had this idea of the perfect girl. The one who’d wear pink and behave like a princess. Someone polite, demure and biddable—submissive,” she said the word with disgust. “I was neither of those things. I didn’t like wearing bright colors, I spoke my mind, and I always did whatIwanted. It was always a conflict between us and as a result our relationship deteriorated over the years.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “If it makes you feel better, I appreciate your uniqueness, otherwise no one would have stood up for me like you did. No one else would have come for me even though it was dangerous.”

Noelle blushed to the roots of her hair.

“Thank you,” she murmured bashfully.

“Besides,” he continued, and she felt him smile against her skin. “I don’t think you’renotsubmissive,” he drawled, turning her around, so that she could face him.

His eyes were still closed as he leaned in to scent her in, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

“If you weren’t, you wouldn’t melt in my arms like this,” he spoke against her skin, warm air fanning her lips before he kissed her.

Just as he’d predicted, she melted against him, a sigh escaping her lips as she gave herself to her embrace.

No matter how many times he kissed her, she didn’t think she would ever get used to the pure feeling of bliss that enveloped her from head to toe the moment his lips touched hers. It was almost surreal how she could feel so at peace.

Over the years, she’d imagined many times how it would be to kiss him, touch him, do even more. Yet in all her dreams it hadn’t been so all-encompassing—so out of the world magical.

Shivers went down her body as she opened her mouth, letting him taste her as she tasted him in return. Though careful of his bruises, she reached for his shoulders to ground herself as she felt like the earth split under her, making her fall freely.

“Raf,” she moaned softly against his mouth.

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