Page 89 of The Moral Dilemma


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It was at that moment that she could finally breathe out in relief, although it was a momentary thing as a multitude of other emotions rebelled inside of her.

How could she not have seen it?

How could she have continued on despite sensing that something was wrong with him?

She bit her lip as anguish threatened to overwhelm her.

Damn it all, but he could have died because of her!

Making her way back to the hacienda, she signaled to Lucero to meet her back in the room. Lucero, seeing the grim expression on her face, automatically knew something had gone wrong.

“Noelle? What…” she didn’t even finish her words before Noelle broke down in front of her, recounting everything that had happened and telling her how the guilt was suffocating her.

“He was unconscious, Lulu. I didn’t realize it, and I…” she trailed off, unable to verbalize the truth.

If before she’d had an excuse, there was none now. He’d been on the verge of death and she’d kept going. She’d…

“Shhh. He’s fine now. You need to calm down, Noelle. He’s fine and he will get better by the time the banquet comes around.”

“But don’t you see, Lulu? You were right all along. If only I hadn’t gone there…”

“If you hadn’t gone there, he would have overdosed,” Lucero told her squarely. “If you had not been there to administer the antidote, he would havedied.”

“But I… He was unconscious and I kept… He looked dead, Lulu. He…”

Noelle was barely making sense, loud sobs racking her body as she struggled to breathe in and out as Lucero instructed her to.

“What happened, happened. You can’t change that now. What’s important is that you noticed he was having issues and you saved him. You can’t beat yourself up anymore for things out of your control.”

“That’s just the thing, Lulu. They are out of my control now. But if I’d let him go. If I hadn’t bought him at that auction… None of this would have happened. Maybe his family would have found him and now he’d be home. I was selfish and stupid and too fucking in love with him to see what my actions could unleash.”

“You don’t know that,” Lucero observed. “Who’s to say he wouldn’t have been bought by someone else. You have no way of knowing. You need to stop looking at the past and the what-ifs, Noelle. What’s done is done. You can’t undo the past, you can only shape the future. And the only way tohavea future is to make sure our plan works for the banquet. That also means you can’t go to him anymore.”

Noelle nodded numbly.

“I’ll watch him from my tablet,” she whispered.

“You should probably stop seeing him during the day as well. You don’t know who might be spying on you for el señor.”

“Don’t ask me that, Lulu,” Noelle shook her head. “Anything but that…”

“The future, Noelle. That’s what we’re trying to guard now. You need to be more objective and not let your feelings interfere with it. I know you love him, but he will be much safer if you keep your distance from him.”

Noelle was quiet as she mulled over her words. Logically, she knew Lucero made sense. But practically? How was she to avoid Rafaelo for a few more weeks? How was she to simply ignore he was a few doors down from her?

“Alright,” she finally answered, though that one word cost her everything.

If tonight hadn’t happened, she would have never agreed to such a plan.

But the scare was still too raw. All she knew was that she could never withstand that type of shock again.

She needed to keep Raf safe. Even if that meant safe fromher.

twenty-one

Rafaelo groanedas he groggily opened his eyes, a deep sense of loss echoing in his heart.

What had happened? He couldn’t remember for the life of him. He knew it was from the drug, but this time it was worse. Memories jumbled together in his mind to the point that he didn’t know anymore what was real and what was made up.

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