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twenty-two
A week passedand Noelle didn’t go to see Raf once. It was pure hell knowing how close he was or how much he missed her.
She heard the way he’d utter her name in anguish—during the day Lucero, during the night Noelle.
She saw the effect their separation had on him. He was barely eating or doing anything. Sitting on the floor, his gaze on the wall, he just… stayed like that. All day. All night.
It had been shocking to see that they’d switched him onto the other drug, and Noelle was scared how that would interact with his system. The only positive thing out of the entire debacle was that he was often too tired to do anything but lay there. He wasn’t hurting himself or screaming angrily for her.
He was just… there.
“Positive my ass,” Noelle muttered as she stared at her computer screen.
She’d managed to steal some vials of the sedative drug too. Just in case. But the moment they were out of there, she would search for the best doctors in the world to help him in his detox journey. And she would be there for him every step of the way—no matter how ugly it got.
She’d seen some of the other subjects and how they’d reacted when they had been deprived of the drug for long periods of time. Some had gone insane with the craving, their bodies turning against them.
Eventually, they hadn’t been able to withstand the terror and they’d found ways to take their own lives—if the withdrawal didn’t kill them first.
It was a dangerous situation to be in, but it was all her fault.
All. Her. Damn. Fault.
She pursed her lips as she opened a file on her computer, clicking on it and waiting for the soothing sound to envelop the entire facility.
She might not be able to be by his side every day, but she could be with him in other ways. Since she was well aware of his ability to taste sounds, she’d thought that the best way to give him some comfort—even if it was from afar—was to broadcast some of her music in the facility.
It hadn’t been easy to convince the others to allow her to do it, but she’d suggested that it might help the subjects calm down—especially those on the stimulants. She didn’t know how much that was true, but she supposed her charm had been enough to convince the main doctors to allow her to add music to the halls.
Noelle still had some old piano recordings, and she used some of those. Others, she recorded herself at the main house when no one was around. It was the best outlet for her grief and love, both bundled together in new original pieces that had only one intended listener—Raf.
Everyday, the facility was enveloped by a combination of classical pieces and original compositions. And to Noelle’s great surprise, everyone had praised her ingenuity. The test subjects seemed to take to the new music, and as Noelle had predicted—on a bluff—aggression decreased in those who were injected with the stimulant.
Yet she was only concerned withoneman. And in his quietness and solitude, he didn’t show much change. He was still just… there.
Noelle ravenously watched him day and night, looking for any sign that he might be deriving joy from the compositions she’d written and played just for him. But if he did, he didn’t show it.
He was lost in his own world.
It was the new drug, she realized with increasing certainty. It was making him detached from his surroundings, lost in his own head.
Where the stimulant had increased his aggression, this one was making him lethargic.
“God, I hope nothing’s wrong with him,” she murmured worriedly, her eyes going to her calendar. Just a couple more weeks and they would be out of there. Everything was planned in minute detail and she was sure they would succeed. But would Raf be able to last until then?
She didn’t even know why they’d decided to switch him on the other drug, unless that was another of Sergio’s attempts to draw a reaction out of her. More than anything, she didn’t know how that was affecting his body. Clearly it was affecting his mind, but were there more side effects than that?
The worry that something might happen with him was killing her, anxiety became her constant companion. Ever since she’d almost lost him, she could barely sleep since the nightmares always followed.
The circles under her eyes had only deepened with each passing day, her mental health deteriorating to such a degree that she was physically reeling from it. She couldn’t keep food down, and was always on the verge of passing out. And it was all due to her concern for him. Add in the guilt that had only deepened over time and she was a ball of anxiety always on the edge.
With one last glance at her computer screen, Noelle wrapped up her work for the day. Yet just as she stood up, a wave of dizziness assailed her. She gripped the edge of the desk to balance herself, her eyes squeezed shut in pain.
“I’m fine,” she whispered to herself. “It’s just stress.”
She’d been under too much stress recently and her body was paying the price. She needed to get herself under control since she must be strong for when the day to escape came.
When she was well enough to leave, she exited her office, drawing to a halt as she looked longingly at Raf’s room.
