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“Then we’ll have my party on the farm.”
“We’ll see.” I dreaded telling her we wouldn’t be seeing Knox anymore. I’d barely processed it myself.
The phone buzzed with an unknown number. Since it was local, I answered. “Hello?”
“Sarah? It’s Lori.”
I let out a shaky breath. “How are you?”
“I’m great. I wanted to see if you had time this week to discuss Addy’s party.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea with everything that’s happened?” I wasn’t sure if she knew about Knox breaking things off, and I didn’t want to mention it in front of Addy.
“I’m positive. You and Addy are always welcome here, and we promised that little girl an epic party.” She sounded excited about the prospect.
Why should Addy be punished because Knox wasn’t thinking straight?
“We’ll plan to hold it on her birthday, the twenty-sixth. Does that work for you?”
I looked at Addy, who’d moved closer to listen in, and she nodded enthusiastically. “That’s perfect.”
“You send the invites, and we’ll handle the details,” Lori said.
“Does that give us enough time?” I asked, my mind reeling with everything we’d need to do.
“I’m a pro at planning parties.”
“Are you sure that’s what you should be doing? Didn’t the doctor say to rest?” I didn’t want to stress Knox out any further. Or be the cause of something happening to his mother.
“Ireland’s helping us. She’ll do the bulk of the work. If anyone asks, I’m sitting on the couch.”
My lips twitched. “If you’re sure.”
“Nothing would make me happier,” Lori said firmly.
“Thank you so much for helping us, and I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“I almost forgot. Ireland was hoping you could come over tomorrow so we could plan decorations and food.”
“I think we can manage that.” Addy would be thrilled to go to the farm, even though I wasn’t sure how to explain that Knox wouldn’t be joining us.
“Perfect. I’ll see you then.” Lori hung up, and I was left wondering how awkward this party was going to be. I’d go through with it because it was for Addy, but I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. What if she asked where Knox was? He was the one who’d promised to throw the party in the first place.
We spent the afternoon making holiday cards for family members. It kept my mind off Knox, but I felt sad. Maybe I’d misjudged how Knox felt about me. Maybe after the holidays, I wouldn’t be surrounded by decorations and trees anymore, and it would be easier to get some space from him.
I sent out the electronic invites via email and was pleased to get a bunch of RSVPs. It sounded like the parents were looking for something to do with their families while school was out, and they were thrilled to be going to a Christmas tree farm. I’d texted to ask Lori if it was okay if families came, and she’d said the more the merrier.
When Addy was asleep, I climbed into bed and let the tears fall. I only had to get through the next few days. Then I could tell Addy that Knox was busy with work, or something, and we wouldn’t be seeing each other as much.
I had to get through this. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let on that I was upset, or Addy would be, too. It wasn’t her fault that I trusted someone I shouldn’t.
School was already out for the holidays on Monday. I did my best to keep Addy busy while I answered phone calls and emails. I couldn’t help but think that if Knox and I were together, she might have spent the day with him. She would have loved it.
When would my heart heal? When would I get over him and the future we could have had? It wasn’t fair that he couldn’t see what I did. That he was so lost in his guilt and shame that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him.
By the afternoon, it was impossible to get much done. Addy was sick of the TV and electronics and wanted my full attention. She was excited about the party and going to the farm tonight.
“Will Knox be there?” Addy asked when we got in the car.
