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I got in the car and turned on the engine, waiting a beat for the cabin to heat up. The engine whined as I backed up.
Sarah stood on the porch, her arms holding herself against the cold. I wanted to be the man to warm her on nights like this, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I couldn’t be the man she needed. I needed to be present for my family, and I couldn’t do that if I was distracted by her and Addy.
Sarah would find a nice man who worked a regular nine-to-five. That man would love Addy as if she were his own.
Jealousy coursed through my chest as I drove home. I didn’t want to see them with anyone else, but I couldn’t stake a claim to them.
Chapter 5
Sarah
On the porch the other night, I thought Knox was going to kiss me. In that moment, I wanted it more than anything, but today, I wasn’t sure. He’d said he wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that and his conflicting actions.
I wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get any closer to him if he wanted friendship and I wanted something more. That was a recipe for disaster. I didn’t want to get hurt, and I didn’t want to invite another man into Addy’s life who wouldn’t be there for her in the long run.
Whenever I looked at the tree or the decorations on my porch, I got this warm sensation in my chest. It was like being wrapped in a cozy blanket. Knox made me feel seen and cared for. Other than my parents, I didn’t get a lot of that in my life.
I was the caretaker, the one thinking of Addy all the time. No one took care of me. I couldn’t get too used to Knox being around because I wasn’t sure I’d see much of him after last night. We hadn’t made plans to do anything else together, and I knew he was busy with the farm.
On Thursday morning, I volunteered at Addy’s school, and on the way home, I picked up lunch.
When I saw a Monroe Christmas Tree Farm truck parked at the curb and a man who looked a lot like Knox hanging lights on a porch, I parked behind him. I was already grabbing my lunch and climbing out of the car before I could question whether this was a good idea.
“Knox?” I asked as I approached him.
He lowered his arms and made his way down the ladder. “Sarah. What are you doing here?”
Knox wore a baseball cap pulled low on his forehead, a navy tee that stretched tight over his chest and biceps, worn jeans, and work boots. I’d never been attracted to someone who worked with their hands, but I was getting it now. He was sexy and completely unaware of his good looks. It was a potent combination.
“I was driving by and saw you. Thought I’d stop and offer you half my sub. If you’re hungry, that is.” I lifted my carryout bag.
“I could eat,” he said as he moved closer to me, and my cheeks heated at the thought of him eating me.
Knowing he couldn’t have been thinking what I was, I asked, “Would you want to eat lunch together, or did you have other plans?”
He brushed off his hands and sat on the porch steps. “The owners are at work, so we could eat here.”
I sat next to him, unwrapped my sub, and handed him half. “It’s just turkey with lettuce, tomato, and mayo.”
He took a large bite, chewed, and swallowed. “This is great. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” We ate in silence for a few seconds before I asked, “Did you eat all of the cookies we made?”
Knox nodded his head. “Those didn’t last long.”
“I can bring you more.”
Knox chuckled. “My mom is going to wonder who’s baking me cookies.”
I smiled, enjoying our back-and-forth. “You could tell her it’s a woman.”
He groaned. “That’s never a good idea. Even if it’s platonic, she’ll get other ideas.”
I couldn’t blame her. I was already having thoughts of more. So much more. “I volunteered at the school this morning. I quiz the kids on their math facts.”
He gave me a thoughtful look. “That’s nice of you to do that.”
“I can usually take off once a month to help out.” I wanted to have the flexibility to volunteer even more, but that would require the courage to quit my job and make a go of my editing business.
