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I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “It will be easier.”
“I never took you to be a coward.”
“I know that being here isn’t good for me.” I needed to maintain the façade I’d carefully curated over the last ten years. I couldn’t come back here. I’d fall back into my old way of thinking. That I’d never fit in, and I wasn’t good enough.
In California, no one knew my past. All they cared about was that I was successful now. I didn’t have particularly deep friendships, but I was content. I loved my business and my home. I even had Erika, my reliable assistant, to help me. I considered her to be a friend.
I felt Heath’s disapproval in the air between us. “I have everything I need. I’ll be in touch.”
He moved to go, and I stopped him with a hand on his forearm, his muscles flexing underneath my palm. “I want you to do the job. I don’t know if I can do this without you.”
My voice shook with emotion. I had to go through my grandmother’s things before I could go home, which meant I needed to start today. I wasn’t sure I’d survive the process, but we couldn’t renovate and sell it with her personal effects here.
“I’ll take care of you. If Nolan doesn’t agree, I’ll do it myself.”
“Can you do that?”
“I’ve been wanting to go out on my own for a few years. My father’s passing set me back a bit, but I’ve been thinking about it more and more lately. I can build Seb’s cabin and renovate the inn at the same time.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble with your boss.”
“Nolan knows I’ve wanted to do this for a while. He’s been pushing me to follow through, but I wasn’t ready. I think now’s the time.”
I wanted to be the one who gave him the courage to do it, but I knew it wasn’t me. I’d only just come back into his life. He’d already been placing the groundwork for this move; he’d just been afraid to make a move. “I’m happy for you, Heath. You’ve built a nice life for yourself here.”
“I thought so too.”
There was something in his tone, as if he wasn’t quite sure he had everything he wanted. And I wondered what he was missing. Was it a relationship with a woman? Kids, even? I wanted to know everything about him—what had changed in the last ten years and what was the same. But I wouldn’t be here for long, and it wasn’t my place to insert myself into his life when I had no intentions of staying.
“I don’t see anything that’s dangerous or concerning. Lila took care of this place over the years. The electrical has been updated. It’s just a matter of new paint and refinishing the wood floors.”
“Thank you, Heath. Your being here makes it easier.” And harder in some ways. My chest hurt in a way it hadn’t in years. Seeing him again, being here, it created a flood of old emotions.
He nodded, but he didn’t move closer or touch me. He just grabbed his things and walked out the door. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did. We weren’t anything to each other anymore.
He was the man who might renovate the inn. He wasn’t the boy I was in love with for half my life. He was different now, larger and more set in his ways. He’d walked away from us before for a reason, and nothing had changed. Aiden would always be between us.
I wasn’t the same woman anymore, either. I didn’t need him in the same way I did back then. I was strong and confident. But why did I want to kiss him to see how it felt now that we were all grown up? Why did I want to revisit the past?
I needed to clean up the place, secure the contractor, and go back to my real home. The modern house on the beach. Despite its cold interior, the ocean called to me in a way that nothing else did. I needed the salt air and the sound of the waves. The trees and grass didn’t hold the same appeal.
I ignored the nagging thought that said if it came with Heath, he was all I’d ever need.
Four
Heath
As I drove down the lane to leave, I wondered if Marley liked the man I’d become, not just the boy I was. It didn’t even matter because she was only here for as long as it would take to clean out her grandmother’s things, and then she would be gone.
I hated the idea of her doing it by herself. But Aiden was gone, and there was no one else. I wondered if I should help her or even employ my family. I could show her that she wasn’t alone. That she had me and my family.
I wasn’t sure she’d accept or even want our help, but it was worth a chance. I heard the pain in her voice and saw the tears in her eyes when she talked about Lila and the inn. She still deeply loved this place and her grandmother. It wouldn’t be easy for her.
But it hurt when she said she was leaving. I was upset that she could sell this place without returning. But then again, maybe she knew she couldn’t do it from here. That it would be too painful.
Did I want the place? Could I afford it once she renovated it? Would her realtor want to get the most he could for it?
The questions and uncertainty were swirling in my head. I needed to get to work and put Marley Matthews out of my head. But it was easier said than done because I had to meet with Nolan to talk about the estimate. I stopped by his house, and as soon as the door opened, it was pure chaos.
