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I shouldn’t have said anything to Marley about how I felt. I was positive she was going to withdraw from me, from us, and it wouldn’t be long before she was on a flight back to California.
It was my fault that she was so slow to trust. I just wasn’t sure how to fix it. “How do you convince someone that they’re deserving of love?” I asked Knox as the conversation flowed around us.
“You don’t. They have to figure it out themselves.”
Twenty-One
Marley
I love you.
Those three words hit me like a battering ram to my chest, knocking the wind and, apparently, the sense out of me. I couldn’t respond. My brain was too busy trying to process them.
Gram said she loved me. I knew Aiden loved me by the way he took care of me and protected me over the years. But no one else had ever said those words to me. Part of it was my fault. I kept my distance from any friends and guys I dated.
There was a constant roaring in my ears for the rest of the night. Everyone was elated to have Seb and Ember living in a cabin on the property. There was a sense that everything was right in the world.
But for me, I felt like everything had been upended. My brain was spinning uselessly, and I couldn’t slow down long enough to figure out how I felt.
I’d slipped out onto the front porch to get some air and clarity.
A few minutes later, the door opened, and Ireland stepped out. “Are you okay?”
“Of course. I’m happy for Sebastian and Ember.”
Ireland sat in the chair next to me. “Are you sad that you’re not at home?”
I thought about that for a few seconds. Did I miss the ocean? “I don’t think so.”
“So, you’re not missing home. Is it that you can’t stay in your own place? I would think it would be ready by now.”
If the inn was ready for me to live there, why hadn’t Heath mentioned that? The thought of moving anywhere made me uneasy. “I’m happy where I am. Something happened tonight, and it made me question everything.” What was I doing here? What was I doing with Heath in particular? Did I want something long-term with him? There were moments where I could see it so clearly, but it was scary, too. It could all be taken away from me if he changed his mind or if his family decided I wasn’t a good fit.
My breath felt ragged; my heart pounded in my ears.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Ireland asked softly.
I wanted to talk to someone about it, but it wouldn’t be right when I hadn’t even discussed it with Heath yet. “I shouldn’t.”
“I’m here to listen if you need someone.”
“How did you know when you were in love with Emmett?” I asked her, and her entire expression softened, her lips tipping up into a soft smile.
“When I couldn’t imagine living without him. It was a little confusing because we were stuck living together during the snowstorm. But when the snow melted, the roads were cleared, and we were back to reality? That’s when everything became obvious to me. I was so scared that things would change, but it only solidified that what we had was real. It took Emmett a little longer to figure things out, but Monroe men are stubborn and set in their ways. They don’t think that love is in the cards for them.”
“You think that they all feel that way?” Heath told me how he felt. I was the problem.
“I shouldn’t make generalizations, but yes, I think family and this farm come first, and when they meet someone, it takes some convincing that they could spend the rest of their lives with them. Not every woman wants to live on this farm. So, they have to be cautious. To make sure they’ve found the right person.” She was quiet for a few seconds, then shifted in the chair to face me. “Do you think Heath is the guy for you?”
I winced. “It’s too soon. We’ve only recently reconnected.”
“Reconnected. Did you have a relationship before?” Ireland asked, and I sucked in a sharp breath at my misstep. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Ireland’s expression filled with concern. “I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“We dated when we were teenagers. He was eighteen, and I was seventeen. My brother, Aiden, had recently enlisted, and I was lost. I wanted Aiden to leave and spread his wings, but I was alone.”
“Heath was there for you.”
