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I turn away, but not before I see her flinch.
Good.
Let her be scared of me. Maybe then she’ll just stay away, and I won’t have constant reminders of what could’ve been thrown in my face every time I look at her.
Sloane Masters was my first everything. My first friend, my first kiss, my first love.
My first heartbreak.
My only one, because Sloane didn’t just break my heart, she tore it from my chest, threw it on the ground, and crushed it beneath her heel.
There’s nothing left in my chest now but a gaping hole where it used to be, the echo of a memory of what it was like to actuallyfeelsomething.
Who’s the real villain, the one without a heart, or the one who rips out someone else’s?
Food for fucking thought, right there.
I stomp away from her, tearing across the practice field as Roxy scrambles to keep up behind me.
“Madd…”
“Not now, Rox,” I snap.
She jogs to catch up to me by the time I reach the doors to the squad complex, following me inside.
“Why don’t we go upstairs to your dorm room, just chill out for a while?” Roxy suggests, struggling to keep pace with me as I storm down the corridor, eating up the distance in long strides.
I live at the packhouse in Goldenleaf, but all the squad leaders have dorm rooms here at the complex in the event we decide to stay the night. I crashed here a lot before my parents moved out of the packhouse, but these days it’s a rarity.
“No,” I growl, harsher than I intend to. I grind to an abrupt halt, knowing that if I don’t give this girl some crumb of attention, she’ll just keep following me around like a lost puppy. I turn to face Roxy, reaching out to cup her chin in a hand and looking into her blue eyes. “I’m gonna go work out. I’ll call you later, ‘kay?”
Roxy’s head bobs with a nod. “Yeah, sure.”
She looks wounded, but I can’t find it in me to feel guilty for it. Not when I’ve got so many other things on my plate right now.
I lean down to brush my lips against her cheek in the barest show of affection, then turn and continue down the hall, bound for the weight room. If there’s anything that’ll help me get my head on straight, it’s losing myself in a grueling workout.
And since Sloane’s back, I have a feeling I’ll be doubling up my workouts from now on.
6
My bedroom at the Riverton packhouse is exactly as I left it at seventeen: over-the-top girly with enough pink and florals to make you gag. It never bothered me when I came back here to visit my family for a few nights, but now that I’m here to stay, some changes are definitely in order.
I start making a list of them in my head as I unpack, clearing out what’s left in the closet and drawers to make room for my current wardrobe and packing my old things away in boxes. They’re just reminders of a life I left behind long ago; one that no longer feels like my own.
You’d think I’d sleep like a baby on my first night back at home, but as soon as I crawl into bed, I’m restless, tossing and turning. Seeing Madd again after all these years was harder than I anticipated. I knew he held a grudge when I left, but after all this time, I guess I thought he’d let it go.
Clearly, I was wrong.
I wasn’t prepared for that frosty reception at the squad complex today, and just the thought of having another confrontation like that with him makes me physically ill.
We never used to fight. Then again, we never really had a reason to. Nothing’s how it used to be, and I hate the divide that exists between us now.
It’s late when I finally give up the struggle for sleep and get out of bed, heading to the kitchen for a snack. I walk in to find my mom perched on a stool at the kitchen island, flashing me a bright smile like she’s been waiting for me to arrive.
The stack of Oreo cookies and glass of milk at the spot beside her- my favorite late-night snack- confirms that she has been.
It doesn’t surprise me, but sometimes it’s annoying that my mom’s always two steps ahead. Astrid Masters isn’t just an ordinary shifter, she was blessed with extraordinary gifts- one of them being the gift of glimpsing the future. She’s a seer, as her grandmother was before her, and when I was young, my parents often speculated as to whether I’d inherit the gift, too. Imagine their disappointment when I turned out to be just a regular kid.
