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But all I feel is indifference.
“It’s the only way,” she says resolutely. “All or nothing. So…” She moves toward me again, peering up at me hopefully. “Are we doing this?”
I reach up to rub the tension from the muscles at the base of my neck, giving a little shake of my head. “Sorry, Rox. This was fun while it lasted, but that’s not me,” I grumble.
Her lips part in surprise, like she actually expected a different answer, and I use the moment of stunned silence to retreat, moving past her and toward the door.
After a beat, she calls after me. “Madd, if you walk out that door, I’m done.” She’s trying to be tough, but the waver in her voice betrays her false bravado. “You won’t get another chance.”
I rest my hand on the knob, glancing back at her over my shoulder. “I know.”
I see the defeat in her blue eyes the moment she realizes that I’m not going to turn around, and for a second, I wish it affected me. I wish I wasn’t so fucking damaged that I could have a shot at happiness with someone like Roxy.
But what I told her was the truth. That’s not me.
10
“Where are you going?” my dad asks as I sink down onto the edge of the bench beside the front door, sliding my feet into a pair of sneakers.
“Out,” I answer simply. Bending at the waist, I tie the laces of my left shoe, then the right, feeling the weight of my father’s stare on me all the while as he waits for me to elaborate.
“Out where?” he finally growls when I don’t, and I glance up to see him clenching his jaw in frustration.
I roll my eyes, pushing up to stand and running a hand through my untamed curls. “Why does it matter? I’m not leaving the territory, if that’s what you’re concerned about. I’m not looking to get picked off by the hunters.” I turn toward the door as he raises his voice loud enough to make me flinch.
“Sloane!”
I throw him a scowl over my shoulder.
“Where are you going?” he repeats, folding his thick forearms across his chest and leveling me with a stern stare.
“Probably to see Madd,” my sister unhelpfully chirps as she walks into the kitchen, heading straight to the fridge. “I heard he swept her off her feet at Andie’s party last night.”
My dad’s head snaps in Goldie’s direction, then back to me in astonishment. “Is that true?”
I narrow my eyes on him, his demanding tone making my temperature rise. “Why? If it is, are you gonna send me back to Denver?” I frown, twisting around the rest of the way to face him fully. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Dad, but I’m not a kid anymore. I can make my own choices.”
His thick brow furrows, fury brewing behind his eyes. “As long as you live under my roof…”
“That’s another thing,” I cut in. “I’ve decided I’d rather stay at the squad complex for a while. I’m helping Lo with the IT unit, and we’re short on people willing to work the night shift.”
“No.”
I turn away from him, taking a step toward the door. “Not your choice.”
“Sloane!”
I whip back around. “What, Dad?!” I shout, my body practically vibrating with anger.
He flinches back slightly, his eyes widening, just as surprised about my outburst as I am. I’m not a confrontational person by nature. No, I’m usually sweet and understanding, known as the girl who’s always smiling and kind. But right now, that girl feels like a stranger to me. The past few days have been hell, and I’m all riled up with only one place to direct my rage.
“Youdid this!” I say, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. “You sent me away, all for what? So I wouldn’t get hurt?! Well it didn’t work, Dad. It hurt like hell back then when you made me leave, and now it hurts to be back after all this time. The accident might’ve hurt me physically, but what you did by sending me away has left a scar a whole lot deeper thanthisone!” I sweep my hair away from the side of my forehead, my dad’s eyes immediately honing in on the jagged line of discolored flesh. When they flicker back down to meet my own, there’s pain shining in the moss green irises that are so similar to my own.
I drop my hand, allowing my hair to fall back into place to cover the scar, and a tense silence falls over us, my father and I locked in a staring contest while my sister looks on uncomfortably.
“You’re alive,” he finally says, his voice eerily calm. “That’s all that matters.”
“Is it?” I counter.
