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His eyes are locked on mine, and for some reason, I don’t back away as he moves closer, reaching out to cup my face in his hands and tilting my head up. “I love you and I’m going to fix this, okay? I don’t have time to explain everything right now, but I need you and Chey to go to the cabin and lay low until this is all over. Please, just trust me…”
I start to melt into his familiar touch, my stomach fluttering at the contact. Then I remember the way my stomach twisted when I got sick all over the motel room floor and my anger comes surging back. I swat his hands away furiously, taking a jerky step backwards. “Why would I ever trust you again?” I demand, the sharp sting of tears pricking the backs of my eyes.
“Because everything I’m about to do is for you,” he sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “And even if you hate me, I’m still going to do it, because it needs to be done.” He closes the distance between us again, cupping my chin in his palm and sweeping a thumb over my lower lip tenderly. “Now please, just go,” he rasps. “I need you to be safe,mi amor. If anything happened to you…”
“What about whatjusthappened to me?” I interrupt with a scowl, flinching back. “You told me to come meet you and thenyou let them tranquilize me, dose me with wolfsbane, keep me trapped in that room…”
“I didn’t know!” he rushes out, grabbing onto my biceps to hold me in place so I can’t retreat another step. “My mom had my phone, she was the one who told you to come, not me. I didn’t know she was going to do any of that. Please, Lo, you’ve gotta believe me, baby.”
He seems so sincere that Iwantto believe him; I truly do. But if what he’s saying is true, it’ll take a hell of a lot more than a few pretty words of apology for us to get past this.
Javi draws a ragged breath, continuing. “Seeing her do that to you was one of the worst moments of my life, but I had to play along so she wouldn’t suspect anything. I’m done with that now, though. You’ll see. I’m gonna make things right,Cariño.I promise.”
Javi abruptly lets go of me, lifting a hand between us and sticking out his pinky finger. Tears spring to my eyes at the gesture, remembering the last time we made a pinky promise.
The night we met beneath the full moon.
A kaleidoscope of memories flash through my mind like a film reel- every kiss, every touch, every night at the cabin, every stolen moment between the two of us. And shakily, I lift a hand, taking a blind leap of faith as I hook my pinky finger with his. Because damnit, I still love this man, even if I don’t want to.
Javi’s finger tightens around my own and he uses it to yank me in, my chest crashing against his as he dips his head to slam his mouth down over mine. I melt against him, completely forgetting myself for a moment as I allow him to ravage my lipsand tongue, giving into the overwhelming desire to be near him; to have his hands on my body and his lips on mine.
For just a second, I give in, because try as I might, I can’t turn off the way I feel about Javier Cruz. Even if it’s a mistake. Even after everything.
33
For as long as I can remember, my mother has been whispering in my ear about her plot to seek revenge. I was raised with the belief that this was my life’s purpose; to avenge my father and take down our enemies once and for all. I never questioned whether it was right or wrong, never questioned who the true enemy really was. I just accepted her version of the story as fact, and I resolved to make her proud. After all, in her version of the story,I’mthe good guy.
When we actually arrived here, though, I started to question my reality. For the first time, I began to question my understanding of good and evil and which side of the coin my father was truly on.
It started with Lo. My smart, beautiful, quirky mate, who was rightfully unsure about me but decided to give me a chance anyways.
Then came her friends. The current and future alphas of the six-pack alliance, who have formed deep bonds of loyalty with one another and gave me a glimpse of what it would be like to become a part of that.To finally belong.
When you’re raised with hate in your heart, it takes root like a poison. My mother has let her hate consume her, and I never realized how much that hate was warping me, too, until I was faced with the opposite.
Love.
The love that Lo and her friends have for one another. The love that I feel forher.
If these people were truly the enemy, they would’ve turned me away without a second glance. They wouldn’t have considered taking my pack in and granting us safe harbor. They wouldn’t have made an effort to get to knowme; to invite me into their circle. Their initial efforts might’ve been a thinly veiled attempt gather information, but at some point, all that bullshit fell away and we started to actually become friends.
After arriving here and meeting everyone, I was forced to start chipping away at the narrative that I’d been taught. I listened; I asked questions. And slowly, I came to realize that my father wasn’t the self-sacrificing hero my mother painted him to be. By most accounts, he was a cold-blooded killer with an insatiable thirst for power. My mother tried her damndest to raise me in Xavier’s image, but I don’t want to be like him.
I don’t want to be the villain in anyone’s story.
The members of my own pack are good, decent people. They’ve been unknowingly brought into a decades-old vendetta when allthey’ve ever really wanted is a home. They’re still in the dark about the identity of my father-hell, until I became Alpha, none of them even knew I had alpha blood. Only after I challenged Paul and won did my mother disclose to the others that she’s the daughter of an alpha, and even then, she never revealed who my father was.
Maybe I should’ve questioned that more. If he was a hero, then why did my parentage have to remain a carefully guarded secret? My mother was pregnant when she first found and joined our pack, and she had ample opportunity over the years to reveal the truth to them. The fact that she chose not to is a red flag I should’ve seen. She said she was just cautious; that everything was on a need-to-know basis, but now I realize that she just didn’t want to invite outside opinion. I saw the looks on Seth’s and Joel’s faces when she dropped Xavier’s name earlier. She didn’t want to entertain any other versions of her story and risk me learning the ugly truth.
I know it now, though. And with that knowledge came the cold realization that my mother isn’thelpingme. She’susingme.
She’s using all of us. She keeps saying that this plan of hers is for the good of the pack, but they don’t even know the full scale of what she’s trying to accomplish here. I have no doubt that if I were to move forward her plot to take out the six-pack alphas, my pack would blindly follow my lead out of loyalty, but they shouldn’t have to. They just want the home I’ve been promising them, and they don’t deserve to become collateral damage in a fight they knew nothing about. I refuse to lead them down a path they can’t come back from.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve started to formulate a new plan, biding my time while carefully considering how to put itinto action. I’d hoped that I could discuss it with Maddox and the others, but in taking Lo hostage, my mother has forced my hand. Now, I have no choice but to scramble and try to fix this before it’s too late.
Most importantly, she needs to believe I’m still on board with her scheme. It was fucking agonizing to just stand there and act like I was unaffected after she shot Lo with that dart, but it was the only way. If my mom thinks I’m having second thoughts about any of this, she’ll divert to something else in order to accomplish her goal, and I can’t let that happen. I can’t risk Lo or anyone she loves getting hurt. I’ve gotta be smart about this and play the part until I have everything lined up.
I open the door of Hank’s motel room to the sound of a fist pounding against flesh, my pulse skyrocketing when I see his bulky form hovering over the cowering body of the six-pack’s scout on the floor.
