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“No, nothing happened to me,” I manage to say.
He relaxes. “Good. That’s good. So, why are you crying?”
“I just …” I could tell him. Looking up into his kind face, it’s on the tip of my tongue to blurt out the truth. My father is betraying you. He’s working for your uncle. And they want me to kill you.
But the words don’t come because all I can think about is Anna.
My father has me in an impossible situation. I’m suffocating, and there’s no one to help me.
I wipe my tears away and force myself to speak. “I’m just homesick,” I tell Antonio. The lie comes to me before I can stop it.
Antonio nods like he understands, and it dawns on me. He does understand. He’s been homesick for years. All Antonio wants is to be reunited with his family and to take his uncle down. He’s a good man who doesn’t deserve to die. Not one bit.
And yet, I’ll have to find a way to kill him. The time is ticking. I only have a few weeks before Franco and my father send someone else do their dirty work. And then I’ll be killed right along with Antonio, and Anna really won’t have me to protect her. She’ll be on her own.
“I get it,” Antonio says, rubbing his hands up and down my back. “I miss my family every day. But hey, if you want to visit your family more often, we can go over there. I wouldn’t keep you from them.” He pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear, giving me such a sweet smile that I almost cry all over again. Antonio is really not making this easy. “I want you to be happy with me, Nina. I want this marriage to work. Not just because of the alliance I made with your dad.” I keep my face composed and try not to flinch. “But also because I like you. I just do. I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”
“Thank you,” I force myself to say. I hate how strained my voice comes out. “I’m just tired. I think I’m going to lie down.”
“Care if I join you?”
I want to tell Antonio to leave me alone because that’ll make it easier to kill him. If I’m not as attached …
The problem is, I’m already attached to him. I was the moment we had sex. He’s had all of me. Nothing anyone else has ever touched. That means something.
I can’t push Antonio away because I’m worried he’ll become suspicious. My father wants me to this exactly because Antonio and I are close.
And I really just want to feel his arms around me, comforting me. I need something to make me feel better about this horrible situation.
So, I let Antonio take my hand, and together, we go into the bedroom, where we lie down. Antonio strokes my back while I let out a few more tears. “Thank you,” I say, “for being such a kind man.”
“That’s what husbands are for,” he says into my neck, pulling me closer against him. Thank goodness I’m facing away from him because, otherwise, I’m sure he’d see the guilt flash across my face.
Antonio holds me the rest of the night while I face down my future—the future where I have to kill Antonio and live with his death on my hands.
CHAPTER7
Antonio
Over the next few days, Nina acts withdrawn. Every time I try to ask her about it, she just shrugs and says she’s homesick. I get that. I do. I miss my family pretty much every damn day. But what I don’t get is that Nina can see her family whenever she wants. I don’t quite understand why she’s feeling that homesick given the circumstances. I don’t push her, though. Our marriage is new, and I want to be a good husband. My mom and sisters instilled in me the importance of being respectful to women, and I don’t want to hurt Nina.
Even though we’ve only been married a short time, I care for her. So, if Nina is struggling, then I’ll stand by her side and let her struggle while she works through her feelings.
I just wish she’d talk to me more.
“Are you all right?” I ask over breakfast one morning. It’s been a couple of days since she visited her family home. She hasn’t recovered since then.
“Fine.” She stares into her oatmeal, stirring it slowly.
“You can talk to me, Nina.”
She gives me a quick smile before looking away again. “I know. I’m just … adjusting to everything. Is that ok?”
I take her hand in mine and squeeze. “Of course, it’s ok. Just know I’m here.”
A pained expression crosses her face before she shakes her head. I want to ask her about it, but I know she won’t tell me. Whatever Nina is struggling with, she needs to get through it on her own time. “I know,” she finally says. “I really appreciate you, Antonio.”
“I really appreciate you, too. I never imagined what married life would be like.”
