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I gulped. “Why?” Normally, I’d just nod, but I needed answers. I was too confused.
“Why?” The darkness that settled in his eyes made goosebumps form on my skin. “Why? Because I told you so. You listen to me, young lady. What you saw was none of your business, and neither is it your mother’s business. So, you will not tell her or anyone else, understood? I’d hate to have to do this.” He stood up and undid his belt.
I was rooted to the spot, unable to move. Father approached me with his belt in hand. “Do you want me to use this on you?” he asked in a chillingly calm voice.
I shook my head frantically.
“I need to hear you say it,” he demanded.
“I won’t tell anyone,” I whispered.
He stared at me for so long, I felt sweat dripping down the back of my neck. When he finally nodded and said, “Good,” I felt like I could breathe again. He looped his belt back around his pants and sat down. “You’re dismissed.”
I ran from that room and never looked back.
Now, sitting next to Anna, I want to tell her everything, but she’s only a year older than I was at the time Father threatened me. I don’t want her innocence taken away from her. The less she knows, the better. If I tell her the truth, she might act strange around Father, and that might set him off. The more she acts normally, I’m hoping the more he’ll leave her alone.
“I didn’t do anything,” I tell her, answering her question. “Just … be careful. Keep your head down. Do your homework. And do not post pictures of yourself dancing on the internet, ok? Please. For my sake.”
She pouts. “You’re just like Father sometimes. No fun.” I flinch. “But whatever. I won’t do it.” Anna glances over at me. “Did you need something?”
“I guess not.” I stand up, and Anna immediately acts like I’m not there as she returns her attention to her phone. “I’m going to see my mom.” She nods.
I find Mom asleep in her room, a pill bottle beside her bed. This is what my father has done to her. Made her so miserable and lonely that she feels like her only respite from life is being drugged.
“Mom?” I gently shake her awake. There’s always a moment where I have to breathe deeply as I wait for her to stir, wondering if this time, she’s finally gone for good.
But when she wakes up, I can breathe normally again. “Nina?”
“Hey. Maybe you should get up,” I suggest. “Not … you know.” I nod at the pill bottle.
She looks sheepish as she pushes herself up. She struggles to do it, so I have to help her. “I’m just a little tired.”
“I can see that. But, Mom, Anna needs you. You can’t be doing this.”
“I don’t have a problem, Nina. I only took a few to help me nap. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?”
That’s the thing about my mom—she doesn’t want to admit she has a pill problem. There’s no use arguing with her over it. “Just … pay more attention to Anna, ok? Keep Father away from her.”
“Oh, honey. You know I can’t do that.” She lays back down. “What your father wants, your father gets.” It’s only a few seconds before she’s snoring slightly, dead to the world again.
I resist the urge to cry as I leave her room. My mother is an addict, and my father is a scary man. Anna is only thirteen. There’s no one I can turn to for help.
I stop short in the hallway when I see my father has returned from his meeting with Antonio. He doesn’t even look surprised to see me.
“Nina.” He stays where he is, expecting me to approach him. “You’re here.”
“I am.”
“Why?” He glances toward the living room—where Anna is. “Wanted to see your sister?”
“Yes, actually. I did.”
“Are you making any progress on what we talked about?”
“What you ordered me to do, you mean.”
He raises one bushy eyebrow. “Where is this sass coming from? I must say, Nina, I don’t like it.” I know what that means; it means shut up and do what I say or there will be consequences.Antonio will die whether I kill him or not. If I want to protect Anna, I have to kill Antonio.
