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It takes until morning for her to stir awake and turns to me, concern in her eyes. “Nina?” Her voice is groggy like it usually is after she’s taken so many pills.
“Mom, I need you,” I whisper. “I really need you.” The sight of my mom drugged up isn’t so scary in the light of morning.
She sighs and pulls me in closer. I wince when her hands touch my back. It’s going to take a long time for my wounds to heal, but they will heal. It’s just the emotional scars that will linger.
“Why do you do that to yourself?” I ask.
Her arms stiffen around me. “Why do I do what?”
“You know. Your pills. Do you hate us all so much you prefer pills to us?”
She sets her chin roughly against my head. “Nina, it’s because I love you all so much that it hurts. I take my pills to help me get through the day. To help me withstand your father.”
“But you’ve left Anna and me alone to fend for ourselves. Look what happened last night. Father … beat me,” I whisper the last two words.
“And that’s why I stopped him. I know I’m not the best mom, but I saved you last night. Give me some credit.”
She has a point. If it weren’t for her, Father might have beaten me to death.
“Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.” Every truth is coming out. There’s no point in keeping more secrets. “Father … he …” I swallow hard. This is the one thing my father was adamant I never tell my mom, but she has the right to know. And my father should never have made me keep his secrets. “When I was twelve, I caught him with another woman.”
Her body tenses, but she remains quiet as I talk.
“He told me to not tell you,” I continue. “He made me keep it a secret or he’d … do what he did last night. You need to know what kind of man he is.”
“Oh, Nina. I know what kind of man he is. That’s why I take my pills. To get away from him. I always suspected he was with other women. But I never knew you knew.”
I sit up, shaking my head, tears briming my eyes. “I’m tired of keeping his secrets. The cheating. Antonio. I’m tired of it. He thinks he can get away with anything. That he’s invincible.”
Mom pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Your father isn’t invincible. He’s just a man at the end of the day. I keep hoping one day, I’ll never have to see him again. And I hope for you girls the same.”
“But you never did anything. You could have taken us away.”
A flash of anger spreads across her eyes. “And taken you where? Where could we have gone your father wouldn’t follow? It was easier to appease him than to fight him.”
“So, that’s what you’ve been doing all these years. Appeasing him?” I shake my head. “I’m tired of appeasing him. I want to fight him. I want my own voice. I’m tired of all these men dictating what I can and cannot do with my life. I’m done.” I stand up.
“Where are you going?”
“To confront Father. He can kill me for all I care. But at least I tried.” Before I leave the room, I look at my mom over my shoulder. “Just make sure Anna is safe. Please. Do right by her.”
Mom takes a beat before she nods. “Ok. I’ll make sure she’s safe.”
I hurry out of her room and go to Anna. If I’m going to die, I want to say goodbye to my sister first.
She’s awake when I come into her room. Fear is in her eyes. “What’s happening? Why did Father hit you? And why did your husband hurt him?”
I pull Anna into a hug. “Because Father wanted me to kill Antonio and Antonio was getting his revenge. Our father is a bad man. Never trust him. Never.” I kiss her head before pulling back.
“Where are you going?” she asks, reaching out her hand to me.
“I’m going to tell our father he doesn’t get to get off scot-free. He’s hurt. He threatened to hurt you.” Her eyes widen at that info. “I refuse to let him continue. Our marriage might be over, but I don’t need my husband to protect me. I need to learn to protect myself.”
“Nina, wait!” She scrambles out of bed. “Be careful.”
“I’m done being careful. Look where it got me.” I motion toward my back. “I’ve only gotten hurt by being careful and undecided in life. For once, I’m deciding for myself.” I give Anna one last smile before heading to my father’s office.
He’s slumped over his desk, looking even worse this morning than he did last night. But he’s alive.
