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Mom and I slide into the backseat while Theo gets in the front. The car ride is silent. I’m normally comfortable in my own mind. I’m in it every time I pray. But at this moment, I feel like I could scream.
It’s even worse being so close to Theo and feeling like I’m a million miles away from him.
It’s a new day,and I have a new purpose.
Spend time with Salvatore.
God, help me. Please.
I find Mom in the kitchen making a large breakfast. Even though it’s only five of us still living in the house compared to the eight or nine of us from years past, Mom still makes large meals no matter what.
Theo stands near the back door, and I purposefully don’t look at him. “Mom?”
She glances up from the scramble egg platter in the pan. “Mmm?”
Here we go. “I …” Gulp. “I think we should invite …” Pause. “Salvatore over today.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Theo tense. His eyes widen for a moment before a stoic expression crosses his face.
Mom sets the spatula down. “Oh? You … you want to invite Salvatore over today?”
“Yes. That … that is what I said.”
She places her hand on my head. “Are you sick?”
I step back. “No, Mom. I’m not sick.”
“Just checking.” She resumes making the scrambled eggs. “Because that doesn’t sound like you, Cecilia. I know how much you’ve been against this wedding.”
“Yes. But you also know I will follow orders, and if … Antonio wants this, then I will do it.” That is the toughest thing I’ve ever had to say.
“All right. I’ll invite Salvatore over. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”
Turning to leave, I pause. Theo is looking at the wall across from him with a very hard expression. I want to ask him what’s on his mind, but he won’t tell me. He’ll just say we’re not supposed to talk to each other. I can’t have a crush on him forever. I need to move on with my life.
And God help me, Salvatore is my future. It’s what Antonio wants. It will help the family. It’s my duty.
I will try with Salvatore even if it kills me.
Salvatore entersthe house with a saunter like he believes he has a right to be here. I stand in the foyer, trying to plaster a smile to my face. Mom stands beside me, and Theo is behind us.
Salvatore smiles wide, showing off his slightly yellow teeth. “Cecilia! How good to see you again.” He grabs my arms and leans in to kiss … my lips. I realize at the last second where he’s heading and turn my head to give him my cheek. He steps back, smiling slightly. I give him a tight smile of my own.
His eyes turn to Theo behind me, and his smile disappears. “What’s your guard doing here? I thought when your mom reached out it would just be the two of us.”
“We’re not married yet, Mr. Fontana,” I say. “It would be inappropriate.”
“Please, call me Salvatore.” He grabs my hand and kisses it. I resist the urge to shudder.
“Fine.” With as much subtlety as I can muster, I rip my hand away from him. How am I going to survive this marriage when I can’t stand Salvatore’s touch one bit? I’ve always wanted to be a mom someday, but I doubt I’ll have children when I can’t stand Salvatore looking at me, let alone touching me. “Shall we sit?” I walk toward the living room without waiting for Salvatore.
“She’s in a hurry,” he murmurs to my mom, chuckling. His laughter makes me skin crawl.
“That’s just Cecilia,” Mom replies. I can tell by her tone that she’s at a loss for words.
I’m about to take the armchair when I realize I should probably sit next to Salvatore if I’m going to give him a chance. I need to acclimate to him.
Salvatore doesn’t hesitate to sit beside me. His leg touches my leg, and I want nothing more than to pull away, but I force myself to stay where I am. At least I had the forethought to wear pants, so I don’t have to feel him against my bare skin.
