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“I don’t know. Sam doesn’t really keep an eye on us as well as you do. And don’t blame my mom. It wasn’t her fault. So, what do I do, Theo?”
I think about it for a few seconds, but there’s only one way to completely solve this problem. I grab Cecilia’s hand, making her gasp. “I could kill him for you.”
She stares at me, frozen, before jerking away. “What? You’re not a murderer, Theo. I could never ask that of you.”
“I’m not. But for you, Cecilia, I’d do anything to keep you safe.”
“What are you talking about? You don’t care about me. I’m just a job to you.”
“So, that kiss meant nothing to you?” I ask. I throw the blanket off and struggle to my feet. I need to stand to say this, even though my body protests the entire way.
“Of course, the kiss meant something to me,” she says. “It meant everything to me. That’s why you can’t do it again. You don’t get to play with my emotions. I can’t bear it.” She grabs her cross. “I think I’d die inside.”
I shuffle over to her. “Cecilia, I’m not playing with your emotions. In fact, I was denying my own emotions for a long time. I was denying how I felt about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?” she whispers.
I cup her face with my hands and lean down to give her another kiss. Cecilia is frozen for a moment before kissing me back eagerly. She throws her arms around my shoulder andpresses her body closer to mine. I draw her toward me. I need to feel more of her. I haven’t allowed myself this fantasy, but now that it’s coming true, there’s no going back.
“There,” I say once I pull back from the kiss. “That’s how I feel about you. I care for you. Cecilia.”
“I thought you only saw me as a little girl.”
“When you were younger, yes. That was how I saw you. But since you became an adult, I’ve seen the women you’ve grown into, and I can’t deny my feelings for you grew. The past year has been agony for me. I’ve had to stand back and watch you live your life, knowing I would never be a part of it. But I had those feelings, Cecilia. I have those feelings for you.”
She sucks in a quick breath. “Why are you telling me this now? Why not a year ago? I was twenty. An adult. We could have …”
I shake my head. “Because I was trying to be a better man. You have to see how it looks. I’ve been your guard since you were a kid. It’s not right, but I’m tired of pretending as if I don’t care for you because I do, Cecilia. I really fucking do,” I growl. Her cheeks flush again. “But now with Salvatore … I can’t stand by and watch you get hurt.” I gasp as a sharp pain spears my abdomen.
“Sit down,” she says, guiding me over to the bed. I slump down onto the thin mattress.
“I’m ok,” I tell her after she gives me a worried look. “Still recovering. Cecilia, listen.” I grab her hands and tighten my grip on them. “I had to stand by and watch Franco hurt your mom.”
“She told me the horrible things he did to her. I can’t even believe it. You knew?”
“To some extent. I didn’t see all of it, but I knew he was hurting her. I asked her if there was something I could do, and she told me no. Franco was too powerful, and I was just a bodyguard. You see, Cecilia, there are things in my past I’m notproud of. Other times I didn’t stand up as I should have. I took the easy way out. But with you, I’m done doing that. I’m going to fight for you. Salvatore doesn’t get to put his hands on you unless you want it.”
She crinkles her nose. “No. Not at all. That’s the last thing I want. You know I don’t want to marry him.”
“Good. I’ll protect you if you ask me to. I’ll make sure he doesn’t put his hands on you ever again.”
“I want that, Theo. I want that more than anything. But I don’t want you to kill someone for me. I could never live with that.”
“So, what do you propose?”
“I’ll tell my brother what Salvatore tried to do to me,” she says. “I can only hope he’ll call off the wedding.” She pauses. “But what about you and me? Theo, I’ve had feelings for you for years. I never thought you returned them.”
“And I never thought you liked me either.”
She huffs. “You’re telling me you never saw the crush I had on you?”
“I guess,” I say, shrugging. “But I just assumed it was a crush from a kid. I didn’t know you still liked me after becoming an adult. I was caught up in my mind, full of guilt for how I felt. I didn’t give much thought to what you were feeling, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” She leans down, but before her lips touch mine, she pauses. “Is this … ok?”
“Of course, it’s ok.” I grab the back of her head and pull her in for kiss. I can tell she’s inexperienced with this, which isn’t surprising, but the enthusiasm she has for it makes me smile as I kiss her. I can show her all the ways to kiss … and more.
I’m walking a dangerous tightrope. I’m kissing Cecilia Moretti, a girl very off-limits to me, but right now, I don’tfucking care. I just want to enjoy the kiss. The release of a year of pent-up frustration.
