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“Okay, so we’re done, but I feel like we…”
“I’m open to talking again. We can just leave it open.”
He bent his head, raking his fingers through his hair, trying to figure out how to move forward, knowing he wasn’t ready to move past this…not yet. Even with how much he cared about her, he couldn’t just put her past behind him. But he couldn’t let her go either. He still had questions…and he needed time to wrap his mind around everything he had learned about her.
“Rakell, this is a lot…” he began with a weightiness that contrasted with their playful banter. “I need to be truthful…” He scrubbed his hand down his face, observing her intent stare as if she was attempting to project his next sentence. He hated that this was causing her pain, but he had to be upfront, especially because she meant more to him than any other lover he’d ever had. Truth was paramount.
She held back the swell of tears that were threatening to spring from her eyes, swallowing as she alerted to the soberness of his tone—the way he said her name made her fear that he wasending this now. “Jake? Jake…?” His name wrapped in a reticent whisper.
He raked his fingers through his hair again. “You’re being honest with me, so I want to do the same. Like I said before, I care about you a great deal, but I can’t honestly say I can move forward with us.” He sucked in a long breath.
“Okay, um, I understand. I knew it would be difficult…” she said with a broken whisper, spinning internally.
He put up a finger. “Please, I just need to get this out. What I do know is that I really don’t know you, or there is a lot I don’t know. But the little I do know, I really like, and I don’t want to let you go before giving us a chance. I want to understand you better.”
She swallowed, clenching her jaw. What was he saying? She wasn’t clear. “Not sure what that means. Is this one of those ‘let’s be friends’ scenes?” she asked, not taking her eyes off him. “Because I don’t know if I could do that. And I sure as hell couldn’t do that ‘friends with benefits’ thing you Americans seem to be so fond of.” Her voice was choppy.
He loved the way she just threw shit out there. “No, I’m just saying…let’s take a step back, give ourselves time…basically, let’s start over.”
“Over?” She watched as he stood, taking in his tall form, the way his faded jeans hugged his hips and groin, the thick muscles of his legs, his cream sweater stretching across his chest.Shit, the same sweater, just another color, she thought.
He slowly took a few steps forward, reaching his hand out to her. Rakell laid her fingers in his palm, allowing him to pull her to standing. Then he let her wrist go, suddenly spinning around. She struggled to make sense of what was happening, watching him as he stood motionless as if he were compiling his thoughts. She stared at his back. “Um, Jake?”
Then at once, he spun around, his all-consuming wide smile taking over his face, his piercing blue eyes twinkling. He stretched his hand out to her and said, “Hi, beautiful, I’m Jake Skyler, NFL quarterback, Super Bowl Champion, and I’ve been watching you at the gym. I was hoping I could take you to dinner, maybe get some really good Mexican food,” he said, animation lacing his tone to match his bright smile.
Surprised by his approach, she jerked back as a childish giggle leapt from her mouth. Then she extended her hand to his, shaking it. “Oh, so you’re leading with that famous stuff? Okay, then,” she continued, matching his beaming grin. “Nice to meet you, Jake Skyler, NFL quarterback, Super Bowl winner. I’m Rakell McCarthy, this year’sSports Illuminatedcover girl, and I’d love to go to dinner with you.”
“In that case, would the lady give me the pleasure of treating her to an evening at the fine dining establishment known as Chuy’s tomorrow? Rumor has it their queso will make your clothes fall off.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
The next day, they both sat at a booth along the back wall of windows at Chuy’s, talking about their favorite dishes. The waiter set down two large margaritas, chips and salsa for the table, and Jake ordered a large queso and pancos. He saw the recognition in the waiter's eyes and appreciated how he moved past it, letting them just be. In general, people in Austin gave him space—it was one of the reasons he would always call Austin home. To this town, he was a local boy who just happened to play for the NFL, now a Super Bowl champion, sitting at Chuy’s with a girl who was on the front cover ofSports Illuminated. In this town, he could just be Jake, a former high school football player from Bowie. He smiled, thankful for that.
“I love all the colors in this place, like from the floor to the ceiling. It’s like a visual dance.” He pointed to the multi-colored square floor and then to the painted wooden fish hanging from the ceiling. “Chuy’s has expanded, but this is the original one. I suppose the Barton Springs location will always be my favorite, so many high school memories here,” he said before taking a sip of his margarita. “My grandpa told me that the story behind the name…I guess the guys that started it went to Mexico to do research, and they kept hearing people say, ‘Hey, Chuy’ and found out it meant buddy or pal. They wanted a place that felt friendly. Nothing beats this location because of its history. Hell, my grandpa said the guys’ bathroom used to be outside, but see those swimming fish, the hubcaps, all the restaurants have a similar vibe.”
She fought to repress a chuckle at his animated story about a simple Tex-Mex restaurant. “Jake, you should write a tourguidebook of Austin; you know way too much about everything in this town.”
“Yeah, well, my dad’s family claim they can trace roots back to the 1800s; they know every detail about how this city was formed, named after Stephen F. Austin; pretty cool.” He added, noticing her bemused face, “That’s another history lesson.”
“Can’t wait.” She smirked. Rakell took a long sip of the sweet liquid; rarely did she let herself drink these, but today, she didn’t care. Last night, she’d felt a shift in her—was it just getting it out, finally telling her story?
The waiter set a large bowl of queso on the table.
“Dig in,” he nudged, handing her a tortilla chip.
She felt like she was getting a second chance, embracing his suggestion to start over. “Not wasting any time, huh?” she teased, taking another sip with her eyes raised, looking at him.
“Nope. I know how much that stuff turns you on.” He winked, smiling. It was surreal to think that only last night they had been in an intense discussion about her being an escort, Rakell sharing that she’d sold her virginity, and now, here they were day-drinking, making small talk, laughing, eating queso. All he knew was that he loved being with her, but what he didn’t know was if he could handle who she’d been and, more importantly, the feeling of being completely deceived.
“Well, I think it helps that there’s a hot guy sitting across from me.” She grabbed a chip, scooping up salsa.
“Mmm…at your service,” he said, leaning forward. The conversation was light, but there was a halting quality to it. He was eager to move past it. “So how’s my mom as a teacher?”
“She’s hard, you probably know this, but she’s regarded as one of the best in Austin. She’s super encouraging,” Rakell said.
“Yep, that’s kinda how she is as a mom, too.” He smiled.
“I mean, she knows my goals, so she pushes me, which I appreciate. When you’re juggling a lot, it’s not always easy to make sure you’re practicing, so she keeps me accountable. Even when I travel, Ms. Annette texts me asking me if I’m practicing,” she explained. The intensity in his eyes made it hard to maintain eye contact at times.
