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Stellan shakes his head, almost like he can’t believe what I’m saying, and then he runs his fingers through his hair again. “My family likes you.” His voice sounds odd, like he can’t quite believe the words he’s saying. I almost can’t believe it either.
Yesterday, I could’ve sworn Natalia hated me. And I didn’t even meet Evander at the wedding, I’m pretty sure he was trying to avoid me. But today, I feel like I’m suddenly part of the family. Though maybe they’re just trying to be nice. This whole marriage alliance thing doesn’t just affect Stellan and me, but our families as well.
Stellan walks over to the couch and takes a seat. He motions for me to take the spot beside him. Hesitantly, I walk over, sitting down next to him. I hope that tonight’s conversation goes better than last night. I don’t want him running away from me again.
“Will you be here when I wake up tomorrow?” I want the words back as soon as they’re out of my mouth. I don’t want Stellan to think I’m being overbearing, but I also don’t like being surprised like I was this morning. And I am curious.
“I will be here.” His voice sounds thick as he looks at me with wide, blue-green eyes. “I’m not going to leave your side for a while, not until I know for sure you’re safe.”
I want to point out that I can protect myself, but I decide to keep the thought to myself. The last thing I want is for him to start asking questions about my magic. I don’t want him to realize that I’m not like a normal fae.
“Next time you leave, can you tell me that you’ll be gone?” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t like waking up to a note like that.”
He nods. “I promise, I’ll tell you next time. It was last minute thing and I didn’t want to wake you.”
I take a deep breath, meeting his eyes. “Your father asked you to go on a work trip the day after your wedding?”
Stellan hesitates, then shakes his head. “I knew my father was going. I just couldn’t sleep last night. I was kind of freaking out about the whole being married thing. I asked him if I could go.”
“You wanted to get away from me.” It’s not a question, but I still hope he’ll answer.
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” He lowers his head, no longer making eye contact. “I got scared.”
“And you think I can’t relate? Because, if you didn’trealize, I’m the other half of this alliance. Nobody can understand better than I do,” I point out.
“I’m sorry.” He looks at me again, his eyes holding something that I can’t quite read. “I will be around more. I’ll make a point to hang out with you.”
“I don’t need you to entertain me.” I pull my knees up to my chest and hug them against me. “I always thought Poppy was so lucky and she spent her entire life dreading this marriage. I would’ve given anything to be in her place. I guess now I am.”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “You wanted to be forced into a marriage?”
I shrug, wondering how I can possibly explain it to him. “She was free. I was the one stuck in meetings all day with dramatic monarchs. Fae may not be able to lie, but they can manipulate and twist their words. They get around lying by telling half truths. And the last year, they’ve spent hours fighting over who I was going to marry. Every monarch wanted their son to be in the running. Marrying you is, truthfully, the best outcome I could’ve hoped for. At least you won’t use me for a political advantage.”
“But the fae are so...” His voice trails off as he tilts his head to the side. “Your race is known for being peaceful—to the point where the rest of the supernaturals think you’re kind of hippies. I mean, you’re wearing a flower crown.”
I touch my hair, pulling the floral circlet off my head. I had forgotten I was even wearing it. “Looks can be deceiving, Stellan.” I throw my flower crown onto the coffee table, not knowing what else to say. Of course he doesn’t get it. To the outside world, fae are perfect. Nobody knows about the backstabbing and infighting and no fae woulddare tell anybody because we don’t want to ruin the facade.
Stellan purses his lips as he watches me with an expression that is all too easy to read. He doesn’t believe me. And why would he? He doesn’t know or trust me. How am I supposed to change his mind about something he’s thought to be true his whole life?
I push myself up from the couch, looking anywhere but at my new husband. “I’m going to go to bed early tonight. I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow.”
I rush from the room before Stellan can say anything else.
Last night, he was the one to run. But tonight, I’m the one running.
Today was such a good day—amazing, even. I loved hanging out with Stellan’s family and getting to know them. But now, knowing that Stellan couldn’t wait to ditch me this morning, it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
My husband hates me.
Don’t think about it, I tell myself, trying to blink away the tears that are threatening to fall.
I was kidding myself even thinking we could become friends. Because right now… I can’t see anything past this stupid, awkward stage.
That night, I cry myself to sleep.
Stellan
My chest feels like it’s been ripped in half.
