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I watch his face to measure his response, hoping it’ll clue me in on what I should say next. But his face is expressionless when he says, “Whatever you need. I’ll work it into my schedule.”
Great. He’s offering to go with me, which should make me happy, but it doesn’t. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen—him going because he feels obligated. I sigh. “Look, Maddox. I want you to do whatever’s best for you, too.”
“I appreciate that. But I’m good.” He tosses the tennis ball, this time so hard it disappears into the bushes.
“You’re not ‘good.’ Look, I need you to tell me the truth. Things have been hot and cold between us since we got back from Scotland. I’m tired of it.”
He hangs his head farther. “It’s not the time, Riley.”
Ugh, I knew it. “Yes. It is. You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves. I can handle whatever you’ve got to say. Besides, what’s the point of this if we can’t be honest with each other?” Now, it’s me trying to meet his gaze, and he won’t look at me.
“I’m protecting you.”
I’m tired of this dance, so I lay it all out there. “I don’t need you to protect me. I need you to be straight with me.”
His eyes finally meet mine, and they’re splintered in chips of blue sky. “Look at our lives when we’re together, Riley.” He lets out a pained exhale. “There’s a reason celebrity relationships don’t last.”
And there it is.
“I see.” My tone is lifeless.
“I want you to be happy. You deserve that, more than anyone. But look at what being attached to me has gotten you. Constant paparazzi attacks, and they’re justsodamn cruel to you. The goddamn lies. And now you’re being blackmailed out of yourrole. And yes, maybe I can convince Smith to give Jemma something else, but when does this stop for you? Jemma isn’t going away anytime soon.”
I open my mouth to say that yes, it’ll stop and she’ll go away, but then I close it. I know that’s not true. Instead, I say, “I don’t know.” God, he’s right, and it rocks me to my core.
“My career and reputation. That’s all I’ve got. And if I ask my dad for help, that’s it—I’m a nepo baby. The one thing I’ve fought my whole life not to become. And if you’ve noticed, I don’t have a lot of friends. I spend what little time I have off with my dad and family. I don’t know who I am without acting. I know that’s sad. It’s pathetic, actually. But it’s honest, and I’m terrified of losing it because Icannotbe the failed son of Billy Road.”
I nod slowly. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how that feels. The pressure of it all.”
He looks at me, his eyes intense. “You are the only person who matters to me in this life besides my dad, aunt, and cousins. And being with me is destroying you, piece by piece. It’s killing me. I just can’t anymore, Riley. I care about you too much.”
My heart is breaking in my chest, and although I’m relieved he finally opened up to me, I feel gutted—a hollowed-out empty shell.
Numb, I put my hand on his shoulder. “That’s a shitty place to be.” I want to be angry with him. Ishouldbe angry with him. Right? He’s breaking up with me. I think? But I can’t be because I understand why. And he’s so right, I can’t even argue with him.
So instead, I sit beside him and pull him into a hug. He holds me tightly, like I might slip away, and his pain seeps from his body to mine. Tears tumble down my face, and I rest my cheek in the crook of his shoulder. He strokes my back, and in this moment, I actually feel his love for me passing through his desperate touch.
And now I know the god-awful truth. Love doesn’t conquer all.
But maybe right now, we’re both just too emotional. It’s not a good time to be making critical decisions about our relationship. So, I pull out of the hug and swipe the single tear off his anguished face. I cup my hand on his cheek and say, “Let’s take some time to catch our breaths. This has been a shit day. I’ll take Farmer and stay at my place. For tonight.”
I’m saying one thing, but with my eyes, I’m begging him to ask me to stay. But he says, “That’s probably a good idea.”
I’m hurt, but it seems like it’s for the best. “Okay,” I whisper.
I pack up my bag, grab Farmer, and leave.
24
Spilling It
I’ve had the weekend to weep and hang out with my friends, and now, it’s Monday, the big day at the studio: we’re shooting the finale, and I need to be one hundred percent focused. Except how can I be?
Every time I look over at Jemma, I jitter. I know we signed an agreement with her, but come on. It’sJemma. Her breaking this news could make her entire career. And wouldn’t she want that more than my role? She has a promising future as an influencer and no chance as an actor.
But apparently, she can’t see that.
I don’t trust her, and Maddox doesn’t either by the way he keeps glancing at her. It’s like we’re both waiting for the next shoe to drop. Or, in our case, for the next story to drop.
