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I watch Ashton help Gareth understand how to safely get things out of the oven. He tells him to first have an appropriate place for the hot pan, and they put a trivet on the counter. Ashton throws a soft pair of oven mitts at Gareth’s face who laughs and picks them off the floor, then shoves them on his tiny hands.
Gareth looks up at Ashton like he’s the coolest guy in the world. Something dramatic sweeps through me watching Ashton take the pan out of the oven with a boy who has no father. No father just like me. My heart pangs for my own again. I can’t really untangle the complex, knotted rope of feelings in my chest, but I’m glad Ashton’s here for him, and his heart of gold makes me fall in love with him all over again. Ashton Dane is a hockey legend with a few short days off, and here he is, planning robberies and making pizza with a little boy from his hometown.
We sit at my dining table, and Gareth makes an effort to slice the pizza, but he’s so frenzied, the pizza cutter goes everywhere.
Ashton takes his hand and guides it. “You have to concentrate on this. Line it up.”
Gareth’s tongue sticks out when he tries to make astraight line over the pizza and its very wobbly contents. “My mom makes this look easy.”
“I bet your mom makes a lot of things look easy, my man.” Ashton takes a slice from the pie and puts it on a plate. “Here’s a life lesson—appreciate your mom. She’s always working harder for you than you think.”
Gareth slides the first plate toward him, and Ashton slides it back with his big finger.
“Uh-uh. Ladies first. Lesson number two—good manners go a long way.”
Gareth crinkles his nose. “I thought cowboys were supposed to be rough and tough?”
“Trust me. It’s plenty tough to be a gentleman sometimes.”
Ashton’s lessons are cute, but this kid needs some food.
I pick up the plate and give it to Gareth. “Go on, little man.”
“Thank you.” He takes the plate, licking his lips.
Ashton and I share a lingering glance, and we communicate silently. I tilt my head and give him a smile, telling him how cute Gareth is. He reads my expression perfectly, darts his eyes to Gareth, and nods. And then he mouthsI love you.
After dinner, I take Gareth in the living room to find a movie on Netflix. He ponders the decision like it’s bigger than it is, and finally he choosesNativity 3, and I head into the kitchen to help Ashton with the popcorn. Ashton finishes putting the last plate in the dishwasher and starts it up. I pour kernels into a saucepan next to him and put the lid on, waiting.
From here, we can see Gareth’s carrot top sticking out just above the cushions of the sofa. We stare out at him for a moment in silence when Ashton wraps his arms around my waist and says, “I want one of those.”
Reminiscence tugs at the corners of my lips when he repeats the words we shared back in the Moon Ridge Ranch arena during Western skills class all that time ago. “Oh yeah?” I stare up at him meaningfully. “Me, too.”
He glances over at the lounge to check Gareth isn’t watching. The coast is clear, so Ashton lowers himself to my lips, grabs my breast, and circles his thumb over my nipple that stands at immediate attention at his touch. He rubs his leg against my core and massages me just hard enough for me to grow heavy. His words tumble into my mouth. “How much do you want one, Joey?”
I breathe him in. “I want one enough to stop taking the pill now if you said so.” The kiss is growing toward something unstoppable, so I peel myself back because there’s a kid in the other room.
He shrugs. “I already said so a while ago. Stop anytime.”
“You’re serious?”
“Dead.”
He pushes against me, his body completely aligned with mine, and I check to see Gareth’s eyes are still glued to the TV then tilt my head back to give Ashton access to my neck. Just one more kiss won’t hurt.
He leans over and takes a nibble, growing thick in his pants. “I cannot wait to have you later.”
He dives into my eyes with a desire I’ve never seen before.
“So you’ll stop?” He insists.
“When?”
“Now. Just don’t take any more.” He pulls my hips intohim. “I’m ready to do everything with you, Joey. Ready right”—his lips are warm and soft—“now. I want more than one and I don’t want people thinking I’m our kids’ grandpa.”
I don’t even know what I feel. I never thought deciding to try for a baby would feel so natural, but then, it’s Ashton. “Okay. I won’t take it anymore.”
His hands make my hips dance and sway. “We can start trying tonight.”
