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But by the time I crawl in bed, alone, my arms aching with the absence of the woman I love, I’m determined as ever to start a new chapter. For me. My family.
And with Jolie.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I nearly crywhen Colt offers me a bourbon after dinner. It makes me think of Sly’s, a moment that now feels so long ago. It’s a lifetime away with a lifetime of problems in between. I can’t face going home to my empty house and decide to crash at my mom’s again, an easy excuse to make because I’ve had too much to drink to drive. Sadly, not enough to forget Ashton.
When I wake up in the morning, fresh coffee is brewing, and the cozy scent of toast encircles me. I crawl out of bed, keeping the warm duvet wrapped around mymiddle. The weight of one too many drinks and helping myself to thirds adds to my impossible sadness. I drag my socked feet to the kitchen.
“Jolie Aiyana Hunter. Don’t dirty my blanket on the floor.” My mom gestures to the bottom of it.
I gather it up and bunch it around me when I sit on one of her kitchen chairs. It’s a modest place compared to Big Sky, the house I grew up in and what Colton now lives in. Hell, it’s a small place compared to where I live, too. “Do you like living here?”
She places toast on two plates, butters it with her back to me. “Love it. Not much cleaning. Warm in the winter. I don’t want a lot of extra space.”
“I get that.” Neither do I. Especially when that space is empty.
She places a cup of joe and the plate with toast down in front of me, then hers opposite, and takes a seat. “Sorry it’s nothing fancy, but I’m done cooking for a day or two. And we’re going to be having all that party food later today for Ron’s birthday.”
I crunch down on my toast, grateful for something plain and simple after all the rich food last night. I consider not talking about it now but I can’t go to Ron Dane’s party. “I’m not going.”
My mom stares at me over her steaming cup of coffee, occasionally blowing the warm wisps of air to cool it. She considers me, and I sit in silent wonder, waiting for her reply.
“Interesting.”
Interesting, it is. Because me not going is loaded with backstory, and she knows it. For as long as the Danes and Hunters have been friends, we have shared a lot of bigmoments together. It’s Ron’s sixtieth and a big deal, too, because the guy had a heart attack a couple of years ago.
I chew slowly. It’s cowardly. But I can’t face Ashton.
“It would make sense to skip out if you were still in New York not just down the dirt road. Are you going to tell me why you aren’t going?” Mom asks. “I’ll venture a guess it has something to do with these sweet sleepovers we’re having. Which I love, by the way. Just… curious.”
I sigh. “I’ve been down in the dumps the past few days. I didn’t tell you but I was seeing someone. Just testing the waters with him. And…”—a lump forms in my throat as I try to downplay my feelings—“and it’s not going to work out, so I’m bummed. I started to have serious feelings for him. You know how it goes, seeing as you watch more reality TV than anyone I know.”
Her gaze tells me I’ve just been sassy. “I don’t need to watch reality TV to know how that feels. I wasn’t born yesterday…” She waits for a beat, staring at me intensely. “Ashton?”
His name falls from her lips like a bomb. It blasts through my thin veneer of protection, the veil of strength I’ve been hiding under, and my eyes instantly brim with tears. My voice is high and squeaky. “Why would it be Ashton?” I laugh meekly, but it’s the type that gives everything away.
“I know, honey.” She takes my hand in hers.
She knows?
“How?” I thought we were careful.
“Monica found a condom wrapper on the ground in one of her outbuildings. Nobody but you and the Danes have a key to that barn.”
I pull in a sharp breath. I’m both mortified and wish Icould melt back in time to live that moment all over again. I wince. “Embarrassing.”
“Oh please, Jojo… Mon and I have seen it all. She used to find dozens of foils around when Nick and Randy worked at Moon Ridge. It was likeBrokeback Mountain.”
I bury my face in my hands. My words come out as a plea. “Mom…”
Her hand falls to my head and strokes my hair. “You want to tell me what happened?”
“I can’t.”
She tips my chin up. “Are you sure about that? A problem shared is a problem halved.”
“I really can’t. But all that matters anyway, is after wanting Ashton my entire goddamn life, I finally had him. And now I don’t.”
