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“Sir,” I gasp.
He pauses. “What is it?”
I’m a ball of mortification, but I force the words out because he told me that failure to communicate was one of the worst offenses. If this is being spanked for maintenance, I’m nervous to imagine what real punishment is like.
“I’m going to come…I can’t stop it, sir,” I whisper.
“Fuck me,” he says reverently.
His fingers graze the entrance of my cunt. His fingers feel rough on my raw flesh. He tugs my head back by the hair and slips his middle finger down to my clit. I know I stained his thigh, I can feel it.
He uses my arousal and circles my sensitive bud. Using slow, even pressure until I feel my muscles clench and spasm, releasing a well of pleasure. It’s not the most tumultuous orgasm I’ve had, but it’s the clearest.
I feel every ebb and flow of blood, every release of muscle. The blood surging through my body and culminating in my sex throbs, heightening every sensation. Etching out every bit of pleasure until I’m limp across his lap.
“That’s my girl,” he says.
He lifts me up and sets me on my feet. My knees wobble and I can’t meet his eyes.
“Can you walk to the dresser?” he asks.
I nod, inhaling shakily.
“Go and get the bottle in the top drawer out,” he orders.
I obey, bringing the small bottle of lotion to him and putting it in his outstretched palm. My arousal stings my inner thighs. The emotion in my chest is gone and all that’s left is calm.
“Lay down and flip over,” he says.
I do as he says and I feel his weight sink the bed behind me. Then cool lotion spreads over my ass and thighs. The relief is immediate and my eyes flicker shut as he gently rubs it in.
“Tomorrow, I want you to write in your diary,” he says. “Tonight, I want you to process.”
“I wrote in it already,” I whisper. “But not really about sex.”
“Good girl,” he praises. “Write some more, leave it out for me on the desk when you’re done. And write about the sex too.”
I’m glad he’s giving me time to understand my emotions. It was such an endorphin rush, such a wave of adrenaline. And now I'm drained of all the tightness in my chest, all the anxiety and worry that built up over the last seven months.
I nod and then remember I’m supposed to affirm him aloud.
“Yes, sir.”
He shifts up behind me and pulls me back against his warm body. Being comforted by the person who just held me over his lap and spanked me is confusing. He gave me pain and now he’s giving me comfort.
It’s so vulnerable it makes my chest ache.
My eyes close.
I’m going to have to watch this man. Without me realizing, he’s going to have my walls down faster than he got my panties around my ankles.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
GERARD
She’s curled up somewhere deep in the blankets the next morning. I drag myself from the bed and get ready for the day. She must have been up during the night because the diary is on my desk. I pick it up and flip it open.
She’s settling in.
