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‘Thank you, that’s all I needed.’
Akil rang off and Arrosa sat and stared at her phone, her heart filled with hope and happiness for her sister even as she could see no reciprocal happy-ever-after for herself. After a long time, she pulled her phone to her and typed a message to Clem.
I just want to say that whatever you do decide I have your back, always. I’m proud of you and I’m proud to have you in my life and I am happy to shout it from the rooftops to anyone and everyone if that’s what you want. I love you, big sis.
The reply came back quickly.
Right back atcha!
Arrosa smiled and sent another text, this time to Akil.
Whatever Clem wants, whatever Clem decides, I will always back her.
She had no idea what would happen next, but if Clem found happiness then at least one good thing would come out of this swap. That had to be enough.
Something was wrong and Jack couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Rosy looked the same as usual, delectable in a flowery maxi dress, her hair down and cascading over her shoulders. She’d set the table with freshly baked scones, fresh fruit, jam and cream, flowers from the garden in a jug in the centre.
But even so something was definitely wrong, her smile mechanical and her eyes dull as she kissed him. ‘I made you scones.’
‘They look delicious,’ he said cautiously. ‘Can I have one?’ But his appetite had gone even as he split it in two, adding cream and jam to the still-warm scone. Rosy had retreated to the sink, washing up, her hair veiling her face. ‘Hey, why don’t you come sit with me?’
She stayed silent and every quiet second filled him with dread until she finally turned, her face still completely expressionless. ‘I have to go home, Jack.’
‘I know,’ he said, searching for the right words. ‘I’ve always known.’ Although he realised, with a shock, he was by no means ready. He’d known this time together was finite, and told himself that was okay, but the truth was, like a child ignoring something unpleasant, he’d not allowed himself to look forward, hoping that maybe they would mutually decide they’d had enough, that this relationship would just peter out.
But he knew that wasn’t going to happen, not yet at least. Maybe not ever.
‘I have to go home tonight.’
‘What? Why?’ Had he heard right?
‘My father has summoned me. He’s sending Clem home and he wants me back.’
‘You’re a grown woman. You can go when you’re ready.’
‘It’s not that simple. I have responsibilities and a destiny I can’t walk away from, no matter how much I may want to.’
‘Doyou want to?’
She didn’t answer for a long moment, then her mouth curved into a sad reminiscent smile.
‘In the pub in Tresco you asked me who I would be if I could be anybody I wanted. And I told you that I don’t waste time on such thoughts, that it’s a waste of energy imagining anything different. Remember?’
He nodded.
‘I meant it, Jack. That’s how I live my life. But over the last couple of weeks I’ve allowed myself to imagine a different life, imagine what it would be like to really live here. Imagine that I was free to know you, to love you.’
Love. The word hung in the air, almost physical, he could trace the lines of it.
‘I think I’ve been doing the same thing.’
She looked at him then, and her lip trembled. ‘It’s a lovely dream. But I’m not Rosy, I can’t be. And although I don’t and won’t ever regret the way you make me feel or the way I feel about you and your girls, my feelings don’t change anything.’ Her expression was anxious. ‘You do understand, don’t you?’
Of course he did. He was also a man with commitments and honour and responsibilities, and he knew how that could drive a person. If Rosy had been the kind of woman who put her own needs before those things then she wouldn’t be the person he was falling for. It was that integrity he’d first noticed in her, and ironically it was that integrity that meant they could never be.
‘How long do we have?’
‘A few hours.’
