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There was no ritual, no tradition. All the traditions in my life were invented, and because they had no root in the past, I guessed the proper term for them was, in fact, routine. And a lot of them were inspired by the traditions I’d observed in the humans’ town. For instance, Christmas was all about decorating the cabin on the inside and the outside. I also decorated the barn because Snowdrop deserved pretty lights, too.I’d read about Christmas in a book that was missing entire chapters. It was called A Christmas Carol, and unfortunately, only the beginning and the end had survived the Shift.
I’d learned that humans had traditions for everything that made up their lives. For when a baby was born, and when someone aged another year. For when two people got married and started a family. I had no experience with any of that. Living all by myself, I’d never seen babies being born, and I’d never lost anyone to... death. Another concept that I didn’t quite get. Because I must’ve been old, so old, yet I felt young, both in my body and my soul, and like death was not something that was meant for my kind. If it ever came for me – the Grim Reaper, as humans called death sometimes – I would’ve been genuinely surprised.
As I led Aura into the living room and sat her down in front of the fire, I cursed myself for having told her there was a ritual for the wedding night. Because now I was at a loss. I’d read plenty of books to know what usually happened between a bride and a groom on their first night together – assuming it was their first – but did I have the courage to go there? She was mine now, and an arranged marriage between a human female and a monster differed from the union between two humans. It was more definitive, less of a guess. It was, literally, science.
“So, what is it?” she asked.
I busied myself with putting more wood on the fire. Frost emerged from wherever he’d been hiding and went to stand by the front door.
“One minute,” I said. “I need to let Frost out.”
“In this freezing weather?” she shuddered to make her point.
I laughed. “He’ll be fine. He’ll explore for a bit, then go bother Snowdrop in the barn.”
I went to scratch Frost behind his floppy ears and let him out, then I was alone with Aura. I sat next to her on the large couch, and she turned to me, though she couldn’t see me.
“Well?”
I had to come up with something quick. And make it sound real. It had to be something that would bring us closer in an intimate way, but that wouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable, or like it was too much, too soon.
“Tradition says that on the wedding night, the male has to... um... inspect every inch of the female’s body.” I studied her face, but of course, because of the mask, I couldn’t read her reaction. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. And I know it’s very cold and... I don’t want you to be cold.”
“Can we do it with me keeping my dress on?” she asked.
“Yes. I was thinking the same, actually.”
“Okay.” She nodded as she rubbed her palms on her thighs. “Okay. Can I use the bathroom first?”
I took her hand to help her off the couch and around it, so she wouldn’t bump into it, or the coffee table, or the two armchairs and the other pieces of furniture in the living room. Once she slipped into the bathroom, I hesitated with the key in hand. Earlier, I’d locked her in, just to make sure that she wouldn’t come out without the mask on. I’d felt bad about it, so I didn’t want to lock her in again. I decided to trust her. By now, she knew how important it was to me that she had her eyes covered at all times when we were in the same room, even though she didn’t know why.
I waited patiently, thinking about how unreal it was that in just a few minutes, she would allow me to... touch her. I just wanted to be close to her. I wasn’t going to do anything she didn’t want, and my plan was to just... brush my fingers through her hair, down her face, down her neck... I fully intended to stop if she gave any sign that she was feeling uncomfortable.
What I wanted was connection. I’d been alone for so long, with no one to hold, and no one to hold me in return, that I craved physical contact.
Aura knocked on the bathroom door.
“I’m ready. My eyes are covered.”
I smiled to myself, feeling good for having chosen to trust her. I opened the door for her and took her hand to guide her back to the living room. Her hand shook slightly in mine, and I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring squeeze.
Once in front of the fire, I made her sit on the floor instead of the couch. The floor was covered in a thick carpet and a soft pelt on top of it. It was almost as good as a bed.
“You can lie down,” I said.
“Oh, okay.”
There she was, spread out before me, and I didn’t even care she was covered from head to toe, her face and her hands the only exposed skin. The light blue dress she was wearing had a high neck, and underneath it, her legs were wrapped in thick tights. I knelt next to her and hovered my hands over her stomach. Her chest rose and fell with every breath, and now that she could feel me so close to her, she was breathing faster. I didn’t know what to do, where to start.
“One question,” she said. “Does it also work the other way around? I mean... does the female have to inspect the male’s body after?”
“No,” I said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “No.”
“Okay.”
The last thing I wanted was for her small, dainty hands to touch my face and run over my neck and my chest, only to discover I was covered in miles of thick fur. It was a painful situation, because on the one hand, that was exactly what I craved. Her touch. Her hands on my body. But knowing it would only lead to disaster, I had to bury that desire deep down and be happy with less. Whatever happened tonight, it would be enough.
“I’m ready,” she said.
