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“Yup. She’s a real piece of work.” Crystal finished the rest of her wine.
He took the glass and placed it next to his beer can, then sat back down. “Do you have any recourse?”
“Not really. She spent it all on drugs, no doubt. I don’t even know where she is now. She disappeared after the bank account ran dry.”
“That sucks.” He shook his head. His mom would give up everything she had for any one of her kids.
“I’m sorry.” He placed a hand on her leg. Somehow, it felt right there. “Bad enough you had no siblings or even a father. Did anyone have your back?”
She nibbled her lower lip and gave a tiny shake of her head.
Zach’s lungs constricted. She had no idea what it was like to have a family to count on for help, or anyone, for that matter. “You’re a real trooper. It’s amazing how you turned out, considering your upbringing.”
She cocked her head and blinked. “What do you mean? I have no savings, my numbers tanked, and I’m relegated to this low-budget reality show. A total failure.”
Of course, she’d equate her worth with being popular and accepted by the Hollywood crowd. What else had she known?
“Not true. Growing up in that environment, you could have become an addict or thief. Instead, you made a success of yourself. That’s something to be proud of. And you’re working hard to get back on top.”
“I am, but there’s a lot of people out there who still think I’m a loser.”
“You aren’t defined by the number of likes on social media, and those people don’t matter.” He squeezed her leg. “There’s way more to you.”
She gazed at him, the yellow specks in her eyes flickering, like a light shone from within. What was she thinking? She’d gone so still.
“Thanks for saying that.” She turned her head.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. It’s you I’m worried about. How do you manage to be strong all the time? You saved my life today in the middle of total chaos.” She slid her hand on top of his. “That had to be hard. I don’t mean to pry, but is it anything you can talk about?”
Her gentle touch spurred emotions he couldn’t afford. She had an inflated idea of who he was, and he had to shut that down because they’d never have a relationship. She’d be back on the West Coast soon and out of his life. He needed to make sure she didn’t harbor any hero worship or even think about him once she returned.
“I’m not strong all the time. Far from it. Every day is a struggle to keep my shit together.” He withdrew his hand and rubbed his tattoo. “This is the date I watched my best friend die. We were sweeping for IEDs. It could easily have been me. Not a day of my life goes by I’m not haunted by the memory, and I can’t always control my reactions to it.”
“I’m so sorry.” Crystal’s eyes watered, and she brought a hand to her mouth.
Great, now she pitied him. That’s the last thing he wanted.
He stood and strode to the window. Nothing to see out there, but he needed a moment. He hated to be the one who put that look on her face. She deserved someone who made her laugh and enjoy life.
Time spent with him was wasting hers. He had to cut the wire before it detonated.
He gripped the windowsill. “I’m not a hero. Just a messed-up guy who will never live a normal life again. I have nothing to offer anyone. Trust me, if you ever saw one of my breakdowns, you’d run away just like…”
Damn it. He’s said too much. His knuckles turned white as he tightened his grip.
“Like who?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
How could Zach ever think he had nothing to offer anyone? Crystal waited for him to answer her question, a million thoughts whirling in her head. The last one being who had left him because of his PTSD? With his back to her, she couldn’t see his face.
The muscles over his shoulder blades bulged, the tension in his body visible. “It doesn’t matter who. The bottom line is still the same. Please take me down from the pedestal you put me on. I don’t belong there.”
Her soul cried for the loss of his best friend and the pain he lived with every day. He was wrong about not being a hero. If only he could see himself through her eyes.
She wanted to say something to make him understand, but words wouldn’t come. Hell, she was still reeling from when he’d said, “There’s more to you.”
