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Was it too late to gain it back? What if he told her he loved her? Hard to do when she’d blocked him. He didn’t even know where she was anymore. Somehow, he had to find a way to reach her. If she smacked him down, at least he’d never wonder what might have been.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“Are you seriously still on the couch, wearing the same pajamas you’ve been living in for two weeks?” Jenna shook her head as she breezed through the family room of her flat.
“What’s it matter? I’m not posting pictures of myself dressed like this.” Crystal shifted and balanced her iPad on her lap. “Nothing but sunshine and happiness on my blog.”
“Fake, fake, and faker. I don’t know how you do it.”
“It’s not hard. You just pretend. Plenty of material out there to post that makes it seem like you’re the happiest person in the world.” Only, she was the exact opposite.
“So you’re back to that? Because for a while there, you were connecting with people and posting real stuff.” Jenna placed her hands on her hips.
She had a point. Crystal’s followers had started to drop off. They didn’t like the generic posts, and she hadn’t been interacting with them as much. “It can only get worse. Once the show airs, I’ll lose everyone. Who’s going to be interested in anything I have to say when I look like an absolute fool?”
“It’s probably not as bad as you think. Maybe you’ll get more likes and follows because people appreciate someone who can laugh at themselves.” Jenna frowned. “Speaking of which, you haven’t smiled since you’ve been here. When are you going to admit you miss Zach?”
Crystal hugged a pillow to ease the empty ache inside and shook her head. “I can’t trust him, so it doesn’t matter what feelings I might still have for him.”
Jenna pointed to Crystal. “Aha. You admit it. Youdostill love him.”
“I never used the word love.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not blind. You haven’t eaten, slept, or been yourself. You’re wasting away and wallowing when you could be happy.”
“I told you, I can’t trust him.” Crystal hugged the pillow tighter.
“Wait a minute.” Jenna held up a hand. “I know you’re upset he didn’t tell you what was in the contract. Maybe he never had the chance. It’s not like he wrote the damn thing and tricked you into signing it. There wasn’t even anything in it for him.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’ve known you your whole life and never seen you like this. You fell hard for this guy, and he apologized. He knows he screwed up. Did he ever lie to you or make you think you couldn’t trust him before this happened?”
“Well…no. He doesn’t play games like most guys. That’s why it hurts so much. I let him in.” Her heart did a slow, painful roll in her chest. The image of him staring down at her, stroking her hair after they’d made love burned in her brain.
Jenna dropped onto the couch beside her and sighed. “I’ve never stayed in one place long enough to fall in love with anyone. Maybe I’m the wrong one to give advice, but I don’t think you’re going to find another Zach. From everything you’ve told me, hecares about you. So he messed up. You gonna throw away a possible lifetime with him?”
“He has issues, Jenna. The war was tough on him, and he doesn’t seem to need or want someone like me around. I drove him crazy the whole time I was there. We hooked up once, and now it’s time to move on. Our lives are too different.”
Jenna opened her mouth, then shut it and flopped back against the cushions. “Fine.”
“What? You never give up.” Crystal narrowed her eyes.
“First time for everything. I’m ordering a pizza, and if you don’t help me eat it, I’ll binge the whole thing and blame you tomorrow.” Jenna patted her stomach and grinned.
“Spare me.” Hiking, rock-climbing, kayaking—Jenna’s job was physically demanding and kept her in top form. Crystal shrugged. “It’s all yours. I don’t think I can eat anything right now.”
Jenna’s face fell, and she shook her head. “I hate seeing you this way.”
“It sucks, but soon I’ll be at my penthouse again since the rental lease is almost up, and life will go on.”
But would it? The thought of being back in the circuit soured her stomach. She missed the chirping of the birds and walking through the woods.
Who was she kidding? That wasn’t all she missed…
Crystal opened the bedroom blinds to let in the morning sun. She tucked back a stray hair and smoothed her new skirt down. Another promotional product from a start-up company. She couldn’t keep hiding from the world. If she intended to make anymoney, she had to get active with her blog again, and that meant advertising the products out in public.
After a quick glance in the mirror, she headed to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee into her travel mug. Jenna had just left for work, so all was quiet. The doorbell rang, and Crystal rolled her eyes. How many times had Jenna forgotten her keys and locked herself out?
