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“He’s going to be okay,” Aaron whispers like he’s convincing himself of the idea more than me.
I go back to staring off into space, realizing I can’t process any words to physically come out of my mouth.
Every second that ticks by feels like an eternity, yet I can’t bear the thought of moving.
I sit here helplessly, waiting for any news they can give me.
The double doors open, and when a nurse appears, my heart absolutely sinks. Instinctively, I squeeze Aaron’s hand, hoping it will make all this pain I’m feeling stop.
It doesn’t.
The nurse doesn’t announce anyone’s name and instead walks straight up to us. “Can I have you guys follow me to the back? The doctor wants to talk to you.”
My feet feel like a thousand pounds as we follow her through the double doors and to a room, where two chairs sit next to a counter with another chair sitting in front of it. In total, the room is five by five feet.
I glance around at our surroundings, wondering if this will be the place that I get the worst news of my life—this room that’s barely bigger than a closet.
“The doctor will be right in,” the nurse says as she exits the room.
Coach Pop and I take the seats while Aaron stands in the corner.
All of us stare at the ground, not saying a word until the doctor enters the room.
Knowing I’ll finally know what’s going on, I jump to my feet and ask, “Is he okay?”
When my eyes meet his, I don’t need to hear a word he says by just the way he looks at me.
“Oh God.” I fall into my seat.
“I’m afraid Coach Z had a massive heart attack. We tried everything we could, but there was nothing that could be done to save his life. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Aaron rushes to me, picking me up and putting me on his lap. I curl into his chest as uncontrollable tears flow down my face and the loudest sobs rip from my lips.
Coach Pop and the doctor continue to talk, but all I hear are mumbles and nothing that resembles actual words that my brain can process.
Aaron holds me in his arms as I realize my biggest fear has come true.
I’ve lost my father, the only man I’ve ever loved unconditionally, unquestionably, and with my entire being.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE
Senior Year
Once the doctor leaves, Coach Pop comes over to me, only to realize there’s no consoling possible.
“Let’s get her out of here,” he says.
Aaron picks me up and carries me out of the small room and back through the double doors to the emergency room.
“Sadie!” Beau yells, running up to us.
He grabs me from Aaron’s arms, and I switch to holding his neck instead of Aaron’s.
I try to inhale some breaths, but it’s useless. I’m shaking uncontrollably as a pain I’ve never felt so bad claws its way at my heart.
“Baby,” Beau says, “you need to breathe. You’re going to give yourself a panic attack. I got you. I’m here. Just breathe for me, baby.”
I hold on to his shirt that’s now soaking wet. “But …” I cry. “He’s gone!” I wail out, and he just holds me tighter.
