Page 2 of Her Drag Barbarian


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Through the wildly pulsating strobe lights, I glanced over at Rupert Bartholomew-Buxton. “This club has been in my family for decades,” he squeaked pitifully in my ear. “I don’t want to be the one in charge when it goes under. It wouldkillmy grandmother.”

“I’ll do my best!” I shouted in his ear, hoping he was comforted, but by the way his little moustaches were trembling, I didn’t think so.

After the show, and after Je Sweet had collected a hefty stack of tips, Rupert and Miss Min took me into the queens’ dressing room.

It was a big, spacious area that looked out over the bright, busy lights of downtown. Each queen had her own dressing table, and they were all getting out of drag, taking wigs and jewelry off and cleaning off their makeup. But the atmosphere was subdued, quiet, only a few light mutters instead of excitement after such a dynamic show.

I couldn’t help but zero in on Sweet as she sat in a chair at the biggest dressing table, unclipping one of her earrings, and Miss Min walked over beside her.

“Sweet, that was not safe,” Miss Min said to her, and I could hear her voice almost trembling. “You could have hurt the other queens. And after all the accidents we’ve had we don’t need anyone else getting hurt.”

Je Sweet ignored her completely, taking off another long, dangly earring in the mirror.

Miss Min tried again. “Really, you can’tdothings like that, Sweet.” She gulped. “What if you had hurt Maria or Temptress? Wouldn’t you have felt bad?”

Still nothing. I felt a buzz of anger growing on my skin.

“Come and meet the new consultant,” Miss Min said.

I liked Miss Min very much and already thought she was the dearest woman in the world, but it was obvious that as the manager she was letting Je Sweet walk all over her. I struggled to control my anger as I saw how Je Sweet took absolutely no notice of her.

I looked around at the other queens and I could see they were all avoiding looking at me or Miss Min. But I saw Temptress’ hand as she reached up to take off her wig and it was trembling. Suddenly I felt furious at this asshole for endangering her. And also because I had no goddamn idea what to do at this job, was angry at my father, and I guess I’ve always been a little hot tempered.

I walked up to Je Sweet, grabbing her by her long, dark wig, and drove her head into the dressing table.

2

ELOWYN

Iheard gasps around the room and I drove her head into the dressing table again, the makeup cases scattering all over the floor.

“Don’t fucking do that again,” I said.

I heard an angry roar under the dark wig, and suddenly a pair of very strong arms were grabbing me, and my ears were getting boxed.

I cried out, my ears ringing with the sensation, and I clawed at Je Sweet, running my nails down her face.

She roared again, knocking the chair over as she stood up, twisting my shirt in her hand so that I was hoisted up into the air.

Standing up, Je Sweet was even taller than I realized on stage, well over 6 foot tall, by far the tallest person in the room, and even taller with the platform heels she was wearing, with huge broad shoulders. She was so strong that her big arm held me up with no effort, my feet scrabbling desperately to reach the floor.

“And who the fuck are you?” she said angrily, her voice deep. She had a slight French accent and a pair of very bright, angry blue eyes.

“This,” said Miss Min, in a voice that still trembled, “is our new conflict management consultant, Elowyn Carew. She’s here to help us.”

My ears were ringing and Je Sweet still held me with one strong hand.

I kicked at her but was only able to manage a few ineffective jabs. I could see her mouth tighten angrily as she looked at me.

“Consider yourself fired,” she spat.

“No, no,” bleated Rupert. “You can’t fire her. Hiring a conflict management consultant is the only thing keeping us open right now. The insurance company would have shut us down otherwise.”

Je Sweet looked at me again, her lip curling up. I was so close that I could see each swirl of her perfectly-applied makeup, and I longed to slap her and smear it. But I couldn’t reach.

“Find another consultant,” she said. “I don’t like this one.”

“This is the only one I could find,” said Rupert.

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