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It was all he could do not to let Kaiya see how her news had affected him. He managed another forced smile. He had to wait a moment to collect himself, then he said, his voice husky, “You’ll knock their socks off, babe.” He could tell by the uncertain expression in her eyes that she had picked up on his edginess. “Come here, babe,” he whispered.
He saw her swallow hard, then she met his gaze, her eyes now dark and haunted. He shifted, widening his stance, then reached out his hand. “Come on,” he urged gruffly.
Drawing a deep, unsteady breath, she crossed the short space, her body stiff with tension when she slipped her arms around his waist and turned her face against his neck. Drawing her hips against his, Kodiak exhaled heavily and drew her fully against him, resting his jaw against her head as he began slowly massaging the small of her back. Kaiya tightened her arms around him, and Kodiak could detect a light quivering in her, as though she had been expecting the kind of pain they were both feeling. Shifting his hold, he cradled her head firmly against him and brushed a gentling kiss against her temple, his expression disquieted. He didn’t know what the hell was going to happen to them. And if he realized anything during the past few days, it was that they had something here, something so very special.
There was a knock on the door, and she sighed as he released her. Hazard was there and he immediately picked up on the heavy tension. “Hey, Anna wants us all to debrief and go over our after-action reports.”
Kodiak nodded. He turned to Kaiya. “I’ll see you afterwards?”
“Yeah, I came in the rental with you, so I would need a ride back to my place.”
“Right,” he grinned at her, squeezed her shoulder gently, and followed Hazard. During the brief, he could hardly keep his mind on the discussion, but he managed not to embarrass himself. He’d come to the conclusion that dropping her at home was where he was going to give her his personal goodbye. It would be best for both of them if they didn’t draw this out.
Kodiak took it easy on the ride back to her place, trying to stay detached from the emotions rolling inside him. No matter what, he didn’t want her leaving here thinking that he was angry. He wasn’t going to try to figure it out right now, but something had happened between them, something more than friends or lovers. Something that kept trying to break through, but he pushed it back. But that was his problem to deal with, not hers. One thing was for sure, though. If this was goodbye, he wanted it to be a kind one.
When he pulled up to the curb, he got out of the ute, came around the vehicle, and opened her door. She stepped out.
She started to say something, but he caught her around the neck, pressing her face against his chest. Unsmiling and his voice gruff, he said, “Don’t, okay?” Experiencing a suffocating sensation in his chest, he tightened his hold on her head, not sure why in hell his legs suddenly felt so shaky.
Gripping the sides of his jacket, she nodded, letting go of a heavy breath. He held her like that for a little longer, until he got a grip on himself. Then he stroked her cheek with his knuckles and his tone husky, said, “Come on. I’ll walk you home.”
Not quite able to sever the connection, he held her hand as they started up her walk. But with every step they took, her hold on his hand got tighter, and the tightness in his chest grew. He didn’t kid himself. This was going to fucking hurt more than he could imagine. He’d helped her with some debilitating thoughts and personal issues just as she’d helped him with his. And that was good. And now maybe they could look back and remember the things they’d shared, not the things that were driving them apart.
He walked her as far as her front door but didn’t enter when she opened the door. She turned to him, her face falling when she realized he wasn’t coming inside.
Feeling as if everything was closing in on him, he didn’t want to step into the light spilling out through the open door. He was feeling too exposed and vulnerable. He wanted to remember her in the moonlight.
Kodiak let go of her, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. He stared at her for a minute, his heart contracting when he saw the look of dismay in her eyes. Fighting the urge to hold her one last time, he reached out and stroked her cheek with the back of one finger, then drew his thumb along her bottom lip. The look in her eyes was enough to rip the heart right out of him, but he knew this had to be it.
Feeling as if his lungs were closing up on him, he pressed his thumb against her lips, his throat suddenly so tight he could barely speak. “Go,” he said softly.
She stared at him an instant longer, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears, then she turned and went inside. He stood in the shadows until he heard the door close, then turned and started back toward the street.
It was a hell of a way to say goodbye.
* * *
Celeste saton the edge of the tub facing Karasu and Rose. Luckily Rose’s morning sickness had gotten better, which meant she must be about three months along. Her anxiety about protecting her two friends kept her up at night. They were getting ready to make a stand, now that they had a way of communicating with the outside world.
“I finished the backdoor to NSA, which allowed me a way to speak directly to Ailee without being detected. I’ve also almost finished the virus, leaving out one crucial piece of code that makes it un-executable. Eventually, they’ll discover the flaw, but that will slow them down and may buy us the time we need to get out of here.”
“I never doubted you, Celeste,” Karasu said. “What’s the plan?”
“I’ve given Ailee the coordinates of where we are.”
“You know where we are?”
“Yes. We’re in central Alaska on the frozen tundra, north of Tanana, a tiny village.” She rattled off the longitude and latitude.
Karasu huffed a laugh. “Why am I not surprised? You are amazing, Celeste. Trasker has no idea how clever and resourceful you are.” She lifted her chin. “They’ll come for us in a helicopter. I have an idea for when it lands.” She laid it all out, and Celeste couldn’t help smiling and shaking her head. Karasu was fearless.
“He underestimated all of us, Karasu. We all have skills and when I refuse him, he’s going to come after us with everything he has.”
“That may be true, but once you tell Ailee that he is the mastermind, he will have a target on his back.”
“I’ve got a mock president’s schedule to give Trasker what he thinks he wants, but throw off NSH. Hopefully, that will help cause confusion for his murdering thugs.”
“How did you manage that when they’re watching you?”
