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“Sounds dangerous.” I grin, poking him. “You…thinking.”
“As I was saying, asshole, I was thinking, I’m in a bed with the hottest chick on the planet, who is wearing shorts that she must have found in the toddler section, and I’m not even trying to fuck her.”
I frown. “Uh…okay? That’s…nice?”
Flipping to his side, he brushes his hand through my hair. “I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just…well, it’s not my norm. I’m not this guy. But with you, I am.” He inhales. “With you, I want to be better because you deserve that from me. I mean, I don’t even have to constantly joke when I’m around you. I can…rest.”
“Why is that?” I ask, confused. “Also, you joke arounda lot. Lots of sex jokes.Loadsof them.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to be on all the time. Especially when I don’t feel like it. Mostly because you’d see through it. You would know it was an act.” He sounds so candid and open. “I don’t have to fake who I am with you because you’re fucked up too, Bria. And I hope you don’t think I’m a dick for saying that, but it’s true.”
Pausing, he swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob.
“Today, you took me to a place I’d only dreamed about. I know it’s weird. A grown-ass man being excited to come to Disney World. But I’d always wondered what it was like. And because of you, now, I know. I didn’t even have to ask you. You just…knew. And I don’t even have to be embarrassed about it. Because you get it. I know you do.”
I study his face for a moment. So much gratitude is in his eyes when he talks to me. He thinks I did something great for him when, selfishly, I did it just as much for myself.
“My dad never made it into the Magic Kingdom the day we came.” The words rush out before I can stop them. “He said he forgot something in the car. Said he’d catch up with us shortly. But he never did. So, Mom made us leave early to find him because she was scared. My dad wasn’t just a struggling addict, but he also had gotten in with a really dangerous crowd. He came home the following day, strung out on drugs.” I feel the lump building in my throat.
“I’ve been through pain, but I’m not broken, and neither are you. And days like today are proof of that. Proof that we can be as happy as we want to be. And that the shit that we’ve been dealt…well, it doesn’t get to decide our entire lives.” I smile. “This was one of the greatest days of my life. And that’s not because of where I was. It’s because of who I was with when I went there.”
“Itwasthe best day of my life, Bria,” he utters before growing quiet for a moment. “I know the way I handle shit isn’t always for the best. I’m quick to fight. Aggressive when I could use my words. But it’s all I know. My dad would beat the shit out of me if I looked at him wrong. Hell, sometimes, I didn’t have to even look at him at all. My very existence pissed him off,” he whispers. “And when I was a kid, imagining going to places like the one we went to today? Telling stories like I’d been there? It saved me.” He inhales. “I’ll admit this to you and you only, Wildflower. It’s exhausting. Always pretending to be something I’m not.”
His hand brushes my cheek. “So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, thanks for letting me just be me. Fucked up and all.”
I drag in a shaky breath. Pulling my hand out from the covers, I press my palm to his chest. “You don’t have to pretend to be anything, Brody. Just be yourself. Because that’s more than enough.”
Suddenly, the tension in the room is so thick that I can hardly breathe. His eyes float to my lips, and my hand feels like it’s on fire against his skin. The dull ache building inside of me is unmistakable as his eyes move back to mine, and we stare at each other.
“Brody,” my voice says so quietly that I barely hear myself.
“We shouldn’t,” he rasps, clearly feeling it too. “I can’t lose this friendship.”
“Yeah. Me neither.” My breathing becomes more erratic the second. “It would be…complicated.”
We’re in a complete stare-down of who will blink first, and it’s him who yanks me toward him, using both hands to cup my face as his lips attack mine.
His kiss is like a million electric shocks being sent through my body at the exact same time. Over and over again. His lips wake me up, and it’s almost like I’m in an out-of-body experience, watching my pale body slowly come to life, little by little. There’s a need in the way he kisses me that I’ve never felt before from another human being. And there’s desperation in the way I kiss him back that is unmistakable.
It’s like I’ve waited my entire life for this kiss while not knowing it. Kisses like this? I didn’t even think they existed.
I moan against his lips, quivering as one of his hands runs down my abdomen, stopping at the top of my shorts. His hand begins to slide further, and I shudder, on edge. But then someone passing by yells outside the door, and he tears his lips from mine, dropping his hand from my cheek and pulling his fingertips from my body.
He’s disgruntled as he runs his hand over his face. “Sorry. I, uh…fuck. I don’t know why I did that,” he grumbles, scooting himself further on the other side of the bed. “We can’t do shit like that.”
Brushing my hair away from my face, I’m still breathless. “Why not?”
“Because we’re both trying tonothave sex. We made a fucking pact. And I’m pretty sure that pact included me not slamming my dick inside of you as well. Which is exactly where that would have headed if someone in the hallway hadn’t snapped me the fuck out of it,” he quips back. “Sex would make shit complicated. We’re friends. Friends don’t fuck.”
Feeling discouraged and not wanting him to look at me, I roll to my side.
“Bria, don’t be mad.” He sighs. “It isn’t because I don’t want to. Trust me…I do.Reallyfucking bad.” He pauses. “But you mean too much to me to screw it up by using the wrong head.”
“I’m not mad at you,” I mutter.
“You are. And that’s why what just happened can’t happen again. It makes everything weird. And when it comes to you and me, I don’t want weird.” He moves closer, and his hand brushes my shoulder. “I don’t want you to be mad at me, Bria. Actually…I can’t fucking stand even the thought of it.”
Craning my neck, I glance up at him and force a smile. “I’m not mad,” I whisper, seeing the worry in his eyes. “And…you’re right. Sex would complicate things so much.” I swallow. “It’s not worth it.”
