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“Sir, please try to remain calm. We have someone en route. They are about three minutes out,” she tells me. “Stay on the phone, please.”
When Brody walks into the room, I hand him the phone. “Talk to the dispatcher. The ambulance is almost here. I’m going to carry her outside.”
Just as I reach the door and push it open, I hear the screaming of the ambulance sirens. Looking down at her, I hold her closer. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”
Ryann runs next to me. “Oh my God, Hunter. I had no idea,” she sobs. “Is she okay?”
“I—I don’t know.”
She makes a few small wheezing sounds, her eyes shut as I hold her against me.
“I tried the rescue inhaler. I don’t know what else to do! I don’t fucking know what to do for her.”
The ambulance comes to a halt, and I run toward it. They open the back doors, and I set her down on the stretcher.
“I love you, baby. Please, please just be okay.” I wipe my eyes, stepping back so they can give her what she needs.
“Sir, if you aren’t immediate family, I need you to step out,” the paramedic says, never looking at me.
“I’m her—”
“He…stays,” Sutton’s voice barely whispers before wheezing. “He…stays.”
The paramedic glances at me, and the other one points to the small bench. “Sit there and let us help her.”
“She’s losing consciousness!” the girl yells to her coworker. “We’re losing her!”
My throat closes up, and I collapse on the bench, crying harder than I’ve ever cried.
“Please,” I sob like a baby. “Please just be okay.”
24
Hunter
One week. Seven days. Ten thousand eighty minutes. Six hundred four thousand eight hundred long-ass seconds.
That’s how long it’s been since Sutton has opened her beautiful blue eyes. Every day seems like Groundhog Day. Bringing the same fucking thing as the day before. And I’m ready for it to be over and for my Little Bird to wake the hell up.
The thing with asthma I never considered is that when it’s severe and your brain doesn’t get the oxygen it needs…you can go into a coma. Or worse, die. But the doctors can’t figure out why her body didn’t respond to her rescue inhaler. Or why she hasn’t recovered yet.
Right now, Sutton isn’t breathing on her own. And I’m fucking terrified she isn’t going to wake up. I never even got the chance to tell her that I love her when she could actually fucking hear me. And if it hadn’t been for her forcing those words out in the ambulance, I wouldn’t be allowed to even be here right now.
Besides for practice, I haven’t left her side. I’ve done all my classes remotely, and I will until she walks out of these hospital doors. But this weekend, we have away games. And as much as I want to camp out here and not play, that’s not really an option. I know Sutton would kick my ass if I did that too.
She has to wake up. Because if she doesn’t, I don’t think I’ll believe in the good of anything anymore. Because if she doesn’t come back to me, what the fuck would the point of that be?
I loved Paige. I’ll never say that I didn’t because she was my first love, and I really did think I wanted to spend my life with her. And I guess that’s because she was everything I thought I wanted. But the love I have for Sutton isn’t anything I’ve ever felt before. She makes me feel shit inside of me I never even knew I could feel. Some good, some bad. The girl drives me batshit crazy, but she’s the only person I can imagine being with from here on out.
I considered contacting her mother, but I don’t know if that’s what Sutton would even want. Her mother hasn’t called her in months. She knows her daughter takes medication daily for her condition, yet she can’t be bothered to check on how she’s doing, which is fucking insane. And when she learned that Helena—who is actually Helen—left Brody behind as a toddler, it really hurt her. So, I don’t think she wants her mom around her. Maybe even ever. For her to have done all the things she’s done, I consider her to be one coldhearted bitch. And I don’t really want to look at her face right now.
Looking at Sutton, I lie my head next to her hand. “Just open those pretty blue eyes, baby,” I whisper, kissing her hand. “Open them up and call me an idiot or tell me I’m dumb. Anything. I just want to see your eyes and hear your voice.”
Standing, I walk to the window and look at the sky.
“Please, Holden, if you’re listening…which you probably aren’t…I don’t fucking know.” I scratch my head, feeling awkward as hell. “If you meant what you said…if you really do give me your blessing, like you told me you did, give me the chance to love her the way she deserves. Please. If you have any pull up there or…if you can do anything to bring her back to me, do it.” I wipe my hand across my eyes. “I wish you had gotten your shot. I have no doubt that she’d choose you over my ass any day of the week. But I’m begging you, man. I need her. I really, really need her.”
25
