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Hunter would love this.
Not.
Slowly, I carry her to her room and pull the comforter down as much as I can before laying her down and pulling it over her. Her arm flies over her head, and her head flops to the side, giving me a profile view of her pretty face. As much as I’d like to crawl in next to her, pulling her against me, I don’t. Because I’m not what she needs. Hell, I’m not what anyone needs.
The way she was looking at me earlier, it was clear she thinks I’m a better man than I am. But that’s just because she doesn’t know any different. If only she knew the truth, she wouldn’t be doing things like dancing against me or going to the grocery store with me. I know that much.
I’m not a good guy. Even if I wish I could be, just to be worthy of her.
She is the sun. And I’m just a storm moving through that could ruin her if I got too close.
I refuse to do that. She’s too special for me to destroy her.
5
Haley
The lights are bright when I try to open my eyes. And the smell of mildew is strong when it hits my nostrils. It reminds me of my grandparents’ basement, but much, much worse. This is the kind of scent that burns the back of your throat because it’s so heavy.
I don’t know where I am. I don’t even remember how I got here. The last thing I recall is, I was leaving school. After that, it’s all blank.
The sound of a door creaking open startles me. But no matter how much I try to focus my eyes on the moving blurb approaching me, I can’t do it. My brain feels hazy, and if I wasn’t scared, I’d probably fall back asleep.
“My sweet Haley,” a voice coos, and I instantly feel sick. “I’m so happy to see your beautiful eyes open.”
Rhett Dawson. The same guy I put a restraining order on just weeks prior because he had been stalking me excessively.Going so far as breaking into my house. While my family was asleep.
My skin crawls, but when I feel his fingertips on my hand, I try to pull my arm upward. I quickly realize that I’m fastened down. Which doesn’t matter anyway because my body feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, like I’ve been drugged. And when I try to scream for help and nothing happens, I hear him laughing next to me before his lips kiss my knuckles. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pray that this is a nightmare and I’m about to wake up.
“You are mine, Haley.” He drawls out my name so slowly, making my stomach turn more. “I think you just need to be reminded of that.”
I feel his fingers graze my chin, moving down to my neck, and I lie there in complete fear. Unable to move. Or scream. Or do anything, knowing that my life is never going to be the same after this.
Before he can go further, I hear muffled yelling, and by the grace of God, he turns away from me and leaves the room. And shortly after, I hear the door clicking, indicating a lock being turned.
I’m going to die here. Wherever the hell this place might be. I’m going to die, and I haven’t even done anything with my life yet. I don’t even know who I am.
And even if I don’t die, what if he rapes me? Then, will life even be worth living?
Tears stream down my face, soaking into my hair. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray for my big brother, Holden, to look down from heaven and help me.
My eyes fly open, and I drag my hand down my face. Thankful when sunlight peeks through the window, proving it’s morning. When I have this nightmare in the middle of the night, I’m neverable to fall back asleep. And then I walk around the next day, looking like a zombie who has been run over a few times.
An instant headache, mixed with my stomach churning, is not how I wanted to start my day.
The nightmare is nothing new. But from what my therapist has told me, it’s normal and it might not go away. Which really, really sucks.
I don’t walk around in constant fear every day of my life. However, am I cautious? Hell yes, I am. Although, this year at Brooks, I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and docollege girlshit. Because if I don’t, thenhewins.
But that day can never be erased. And sometimes, I swear I can hear the sound of the loud, squeaking boots he always wore behind me. Or his heavy breathing in my ear. Even though I know it’s all in my head. And, yeah, I’ve had a few panic attacks since it happened.
Rhett was a guy from the same high school that I went to. People knew him as the kid who was weird and different. Sometimes, kids weren’t that nice to him, and I hated that.
So, what was supposed to be only a compliment to make his day less crappy—something about his T-shirt being really cool—ended up with an obsession that almost cost me my life. I’d wanted to be nice. I hated how some of the guys at school would make him feel bad about himself. People could be so cruel, and I always tried to play a small part in spreading kindness. That was just who I was, just like Hunter always showed me. It gave me joy to see others smile.
Even now, even after he kidnapped me … I still feel bad for how he was treated in school. But had I known that my trying to help would lead to what happened, I would have just sat there in my seat and not tried to make his day better.
Rhett lives in a facility now. One for people with extreme mental illness. It turns out, when he did what he did to me, hehad a lot of demons he was fighting, and he needed help. I don’t wish any harm on him, but I hope I never have to see him again for the rest of my life. Even the thought of seeing him face-to-face sends chills down my spine and cripples me inside.
